A New ME...

Okay, so I have to admit it...I am crazy...well, this goes deeper than what you know...I Do have to take Effexor, which is an antidepressant...I don't mind the fact that I need it...I take it and don't deny that if I didn't take it, I would KILL people...no, really, with hatchets...I can't name names on here, because it would be premeditated when I decide to stop my medication...LOL
So, anyway, I got this job at the school, (which I love) back in August...I decided that I didn't need to take as high a dose as I am taking...I mean, no stress, you know...so I dropped back to a lower milligram...I am sailing right along...thru winter, proud that I have made it and actually think I don't need the higher dose...or should I say right here-- highest dose...but then after about January, I start using make up less and less...I realize by the end of Feb. that I haven't bothered to "shape" my fingernails in months...they look awful...can't tell you the last time I painted them. Nothing interests me, so yes, I find that I am downright depressed. I fight it for several weeks, not mentioning it to anyone, but knowing that deep down, I am gonna have to go back on the higher dosage...I want to sleep alot, don't mind if I do stay in bed, you know, those kind of things...oh, I still went to work, to church, etc. because I knew those were places that I had to go...I know, you would think a nurse would have more sense...well, I don't like to take medication just like the next person! and this is ME we are talking about...I mean, aren't mothers supposed to be perfect...handle everything...be cool in hot situations...no stress...Well, for whatever reason, this is not me and it usually takes me some getting used to the facts about my craziness...
So, I increased my medication and now I feel so much better...yeah, laugh and say, "I told you so"...that's okay... I am just so stubborn, that I have to learn things for myself...I can't take others words for it...I have to have "Proof" that I can't decrease my dosage...and needless to say, I got it...My Doc friend said, "Why you do such things I will never know!!" Well, that is why! I must try all other methods or interventions...I mean, I feel like no one knows me better than myself...right? So, how would anyone else know what dosage I need, except me...

I used a gift certificate from Christmas that I hadn't used to get my nails done, I have re-joined the gym, I am wearing make up again everyday and actually feel good about myself...Tom is even happier...:) Isn't it amazing what a little pill will do for ya!!!! So, I'm better for the time being... and just for keeping record...here are pictures of my nails...I love them...think I will keep them done all the time...