Psalms 61;2b

When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Feeling guilty... is good just to be sitting in my old familiar chair...Today and yesterday at work were very overwhelming in more ways than just work... Busy, Busy week! I sit here tonight worn out because I decided to go out into the yard and rake just so I can be outside and alone... Then Tom wants to take a ride on the 4 wheeler so that interrupts my quite time in the yard...But after getting the kids in the bed, I am now just "conked" out here at the computer... Sitting here makes me feel guilty...I should be up cleaning or doing something productive! Why do I feel like that? Well...When I was outside raking, I was thinking of what the kids were doing and I should be in here with them just being here for I felt guilty about that...Then Tom says I never pay any attention to him, so I feel guilty about that....I left a desk full of charts and things to do at work so I feel guilty about that...I went to see Melba at the nursing home and realized that I hadn't got her a tape recorder yet to listen to the tapes from church so felt guilty about that...
I screamed at the kids this morning cause they were seemingly moving too slow for me...and then I felt guilty all day...and I am sure there are a dozen more things...Okay...i have talked myself right out of sitting here and enjoying myself... I will not ask myself that question again...

Lukas had thrown a fit yesterday to go to the nursing home and Tom gave in to him and this morning, Morgan was voicing how she wanted to go to the nursing home and Lukas leaned up from the back seat and said..."If you cry alot, Dad will take you"! I was freaked out and laughing all at the same time! That little boy has Tom wrapped right around his finger!!!

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