God is so Good..

He has carried me thru the weekend. I have had a really good weekend with my children. They are so precious and I thank God everyday for them. They really amaze me and I can't believe I have got such good children..I surely don't deserve them...but here's what happened.
They both had to teach Sunday School for youth Sunday. As I already told you about Lukas' lesson, Morgan sat on the bed on Sunday morning and told me her lesson. She was gonna teach on the Armour of God. She had two thoughts. The first one was that the amour was tailor made for her...and my amour was tailor made for me...and she said "God knows where we are most vulnerable at and he makes our amour stronger in that area"....That was awesome!!!! I really was beaming with pride...then her second thought was about the shield of faith...she was gonna give a quote of Martin Luther King Jr...it says Faith is taking the first step even when you cannot see the entire staircase...
Then she had another thought about the sword...it is the Word of God, right...well she was talking about how you used a sword and how in order to win a battle, you had to become familiar with it...and it takes practice to use it and keep your skills sharp...
Wow, what thoughts, right??? I was so impressed...
So how did it go? Well, they said Lukas got up in front of the men class and was looking everyone in the eye...not dropping his gaze and said..."how many of you like chocolate" and none of the men raised thier hand..and he said..."hmmph." He then later told me his thought was..."well, old men don't like chocolate, I did figure that out!!!" ROFLOL!!!!
Morgan was amazed at what all worked into her lesson..she said that she couldn't believe all the stuff she was able to say...I told her that was God filling her mouth and that was the way Preachers were dependant on God to tell them what to say...

So today at 3:30, I will be signing "the papers"...I dread it...I know some of you may say I am stupid, but this was not the plan I had for my life at all....but if God is letting it happen, then it is his plan...I have prayed all day and last night for him to have mercy on Tom and even me.... I am afraid of the wrath of God, but I couldn't stand it if something happened to him... I took a picture of my wedding band and ring...just so I would have a picture of it...of course all kinds of things go thru your head...memories, mostly....like when he asked me to marry him...like when we were married and he first put my band on my hand...he did live with me till death do us part...cause I feel as if my heart is actually dead today.
God, please hold your arms around me to keep me from crumbling...I am broken, but if I fall apart, we might not be able to find all the pieces.