Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Word for the day: Forgiveness
So I am at home the other night thinking of a recent heated conversation between me and Tom. I realize that I am so full of ANGER at him, that I can barely even speak civil to him. I realized that I needed to find forgiveness in my heart. For what? Because I am so mad at him for leaving, mad at him for giving up, mad at him for everything... So, I am praying as of last night for God to help me find forgiveness in my heart for him. There is no way that anything is going to change unless my anger is dissipated and forgiveness takes place...Of course I turn to the Bible to find out what I should do...the first thing I decide to look up says to "forgive as Christ forgave you"...well, that hit a raw note...I mean, I really do feel that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I have even forgiven myself. But what if Christ had not have forgiven me??? And here I am not forgiving Tom...But yes, that is easier said than done, so I am gonna pray about it because I know that coming to the realization of something is the first step in correcting the problem. I was looking thru my sermon journal that I keep in my Bible and came across a sermon preached at the church by E. McAmis and he had made a statement about forgiveness...When Christ forgives you, it is as if a chalkboard is wiped clean. So, in other words, I felt like I have to treat and feel towards Tom as if he has/ we have a clean slate. Gosh, that will be hard, and I won't be able to do it on my own!!!!