Today...5 years ago

Today....5 years ago... I was working and not really focusing on the tasks at hand when I called CVS. ( I was working at Dr. V's office in town.) Cassandra asked me if I had heard, to which I replied, no. When she proceeded to tell me, it wasn't a big lifechanger. But as the second plane hit, I got a sick feeling. I remember hearing the news throughout the morning and hearing of fires here and planes there in different parts of the U.S., and I felt usafe. I wanted to be home. What was Morgan feeling. She had not long ago started kindergarten. I needed her here with me so I could protect her. Lukas was home with mamaw Chris. What was this wierd feeling of wanting the safety of my home walls? Later I heard, on Paul Harvey, that this is a feeling of "homing" I think is what he called it. Even later, songs were published about the feeling. At least I was normal for once. When I got home that afternoon, I was so relieved to see Morgan, but very upset when I learned that Tim had taken Lukas to Walmart with him. Didn't he know how bad I had wanted to wrap my kids in my arms and hold them and promise them that nothing could ever hurt them??

That evening, Mom and Dad came to watch a video that my uncle had taped of the first few hours of television coverage, since we were all at work, we hadn't saw much of the actual happenings. I didn't sleep well that night...

I never shed visual tears, but my heart cried many times during that time and has cried many times since then... in fear of a nation who has left God.

So today, as I look back, I want to remember the love I felt for my fellow americans after the fact. On that day, we all shared a common bond... our hearts were aching... our minds were scared. I want to remember how I prayed to God and heard the whole nation praying also. Never in all my years, had I heard praying and prayer mentioned so much. I want to remember to Thank GOD everyday for my freedom and safety. I also question alot as I look back. Where did all those feelings go? Why did I get upset at the redlight this morning and blow several times? We all slip away from God and the reality that we need him to get us thru each day.