UPDATE on MY LiFe

Has been a very long time since I have even been in the mood to post.  Since I am at my new job, I hope to post more.  I quit the Director of Nursing job (on my bucket list) and moved to another job that was on my bucket list... I work in Trauma/Surgical ICU. I have been here since March- 10 months, and I will have to be honest, I don't like it like I thought I would.  I work night shift, so it is kinda slow and at times, absolutely boring.  I don't usually get excited about coming to work, like I did at the Assisted Living.  So, I love to get a new admit in who has been in a car wreck or other trauma... don't like the medical ICU as much yet, as I feel inadequate- it's a whole new world... Tonight I am pulled to the Medical stepdown unit due to staffing shortage.  I have 3 pts.
Have a little Alzheimer's Dementia lady... she's got some sundowning going on and is right now agitated and anxious/angry.. so cute cause she used the words- "what in the thunder"-- I hadn't heard that phrase in a long time.  She also had passed out and was brought to the hospital and now she can't remember it.. she keeps asking me why she didn't know about it-- I said, honey, you were sick... she said- in a very hateful voice- " I didn't know one THANG about it!!" So cute!!! Makes me miss my little dementia unit at the assisted living. 
Tom is pastoring at a church in Rogersville.  Bethel Baptist. We love it and love the people.  He has been there 2 years...
Morgan is in college at ETSU-
Luke is a Junior and is courting hot and heavy... well, he will tell you he isn't...
That's my boring life in a nut shell!!!

I'm Back...

So I didn't have any intention of stopping by here on the first day of the new year...2013.  I am starting this year blessed far beyond measure. I was reading all the things God has done for me over the past 4 years and now it has all been worth it.  Tom and I got married (again) on Dec. 27...(a whole nother story).  We are happy, God's plan is in place...and oh the things I learned over the past 4 years.  Learning to depend on God was absolutely the best. I can't explain the things God has done for me...so many things...so many lessons...Simply amazing! I heard a song last night from a child, singing "I've had a Wonderful Life"..."If I died today, I'd have to say, I've had a wonderful life..." and truly, the pain was so hard..the loneliness so bad, but it was totally worthwhile... so, I'll try to post  more this year than last year...LOL, this post is def more than last year... :)

Mom's Flower Garden

My mother is a flower fanatic...but she only likes the ones that comes back year after year...oh, and they have to be simple...require no care... you just gotta know Mom...anyway, I would love to have a garden like this...despite me hinting several times for her to transplant to mine...I might get one new plant a year...and it likely gets mowed down by Lukas...or even weedeated (is that a word?) by Mom when she decides to weedeat my whole entire property...(yeah, cause I don't have time...playing single mom card here...) and she forgets that she gave it to me and it is just a "messy weeed" that needs destroyed....Anyway, the point...Morgan went over one morning and took some pictures...just for the fun of it...and I put them into a collage...it turned out really beautiful!!! (Morgan is getting good at this photography thing...)

Speeding Ticket Woes...

So I am unaware of an upcoming attack from Satan yesterday just going along, having a decent day...but about 3pm, satan starts to bother me and cause me to get so mad at one particular person and then I want to cry, but I hold it...call a girlfriend and tell her all about it and feel better...hey,at least I didn't cry...so I realize in my conversation to her that it is just the devil and he knows how to get me...so I rebuke him and go home, try to take a nap before I drive to church, ( cause I am the world's worst for falling asleep while driving...) I can't get to sleep just doze...then head to church...well...guess what...satan isn't done with me yet...I pass a cop on the interstate going 69 in a 55 cause I was in Johnson City city limits...I knew he had me...and fairly, I wasn't mad, causeI knew I deserved it. I just sat there and prayed while he had my drivers liscense. Lord, just have your will...I know I deserve this...
He came back to the car, laughed and cracked a joke (which was really wierd for me...I mean, he's fixing to give me a ticket and he wants me to laugh with him??? whatever!!!!) but then he said...I'm just gonna give you a warning....Oh My!!!! Praise the Lord...I mean, wow!!! I drove off feeling really blessed..I mean tremendously blessed...satan had once again lost a battle... God is so good to take care of me... Just feeling blessed...and I didn't even deserve to be!!!!

Welcome Back!!! LOL

Hey...I know, it has been several months since I have blogged and I am back at school now, and will basically be bored...so, I will have nothing better to do but to share my crazy thoughts....so yes, I am recovered from my car accident...I still am having trouble sitting on my coccyx this morning in this chair, but other than that, I am doing fine...occasional huge muscle cramp in the side of my broken collar bone, and it(my arm) will get numb usually 1-2 times per day according to the way I am holding it...but nothing lasting...so I am still blessed....anyway, I have lots to blog about, so you'll be hearing alot from me.... :)

Ever Faithful...

It has been a while since I posted...I am so busy with summer...I love summer and try to do something outside every day...I have even been taking my lunch breaks outside in the middle of the night on the swing in the courtyard..so awesome..and the storms...I love them...as long as they don't cause any damage... :)
My storm rages on...I actually looked up last night and said, God, how much more can I take??? But this morning, I turned on the TV...which I NEVER do on Sunday morning...and was flipping thru trying to find some song to satisfy my troubled heart...and it was on Gaither Homecoming...the Crabb Family singing..."Through the Fire"...and at that moment, it became my motto for today...here are some of the words...

HE never promised that the cross would not get heavy and the hill would not be hard to climb...HE never offered victory without fighting, but HE said help would always come in time...Just remember when you're standing in the valley of decision and the advisary says Give in....Just hold on...Our Lord will show up and HE will take you thru the fire again!!!!!!

I once again was in awe at how God shows up and takes our burdens upon himself...he carried me today as well as my burden...I wish for one minute that I could put into words what God has really proved to me over the past 10 months...and I am sorry enough to still have doubts..and fears and such...he keeps showing up...time after time..and the most precious part...like the manna for the children of Isreal, He only gives me enough to get thru till the next battle...
I read a verse on Facebook that reminded me that David said..."weeping endureth for the night...but Joy comes in the morning..." My morning is coming...God continues to remind me of this time after time...HE IS EVER FAITHFUL...

I do want to encourage everyone to go read Isaiah 6...I heard a really good message on this and the part that stuck out to me was the praise that "moved the doorpost"...My interpretation of that is that the praise was so great, that is shook the house...I want my church to be that way...I want my children to grow up in a church where the smoke actually fills the santuary...I have saw this before...How strong is your praise?

Catching up...

Been a while since I posted...too warm and pretty outside for me to stay inside...but wanted to take a moment to brag on my children...yes, they are most precious and I can't even thank God enough for giving them to me. I know everyone thinks their children are the most special, but I really can't imagine how they can be as special as mine...
I always said I could never be a single Mom..and I still believe that if my children were younger, that I couldn't do...maybe that is because Tom was a active Father in their life and did help me with any issue with them... My children are older and able to take care of themself, basically, so I believe that is what God knew before putting me thru this situation. I am working at the Nursing Home this summer and my shifts are varying...day shift, evenings, nights, etc...so often, I am not home to be able to do everything a Mom should...Morgan has done a wonderful job at keeping that house clean...now, mind you, she is hormonal, which brings out the "cleaner" in her, but she did deep clean and took curtains down and washed them, washed the shower curtain, dusted baseboards, etc...see...I told you she was awesome...but that is not the half of it...
She decided she wanted to cook too...so I had to work graveyard on Tues. I went to bed about 2pm until 6:00pm...when I awoke, she had baked chicken with a special sauce, garlic bread and smashed red potatoes...WOW....very good food!!!!!! She and Lukas had cooked the food while I was asleep and the best part, it was coming out of the oven just at 6pm...I really am bursting with pride....
Lukas has been helping me mow and weedeat the yard...he loves to mow and since I have about 1/2 acre to mow, this helps tremendously....I'm just so blessed to have them.
I am doing better with my injuries...still like to stand alot to rest my coccyx...wearing my figure 8 brace totally makes my collar bone feel better..can lift my purse with my left arm now...
There is a nurse at work who wrecked last week and flipped her vehicle 3 times...She was still in ICU after 4 days with a chest tube...I got cold chills and the hairs stood up on my arms when I was told this...That really shoudl have been me...I am still feeling trememdously blessed...

Lucky..BLESSED...

I am not lucky...yeah, that's an easier way to say it...but I am totally blessed..as time has passed and I have actually went and looked at my van, I seem to get sicker and sicker each time I think of how blessed I am...The pictures on the cell phones didn't do justice to how my van really looked....oh my...it made me wonder myself how in the world I wasn't paralyzed or brain dead at the least...so, no, I won't be posting pictures here..I don't feel that is something I want to remember..maybe later, when I can deal better...
I drove today for the first time...went to the ortho doc and he put me in a sling that holds both my shoulders back in order to keep the collar bone in alignment so it can heal straight...only problem is...and don't laugh....I forget and use my left arm sometime and MAN...do I remember real quick! I cannot pick up a glass plate with pizza on it...I can barely pick up a coffee cup with milk in it...so, back to the driving, it wasn't as bad as I thought, although all I did think about while I was on the road was safety...imagine that!!!!
We don't know why things happen, but let me tell you what had came out of this....and yes, for all you medical workers, I am quite frustrated with the system....in order to go to the ortho, I had to go back to Laughlin ER to get my xrays...so they gave me a CD with the results and films on it...of course I stuck it in my computer and spent some time looking at the actual xrays...then I figured out how to actually open the radiologist report...the shoulder CT scan said...."a 5mm nodular density is seen on the left lung" and basically that a follow up CT scan should be done in 3 months to re-eval...or in layman's terms...to see if there are any changes...to see if it grew...
(well, nurses know just enough to be dangerous...so yes, I'm freaked...)but do you know that i have yet to this day, 7 days later, to hear anyone actually tell me this! If I hadn't put this in my computer, then what? how would I know this? The ortho doc looked at my xrays...who knows whether he looked at the report or not...but shouldn't someone be in charge of notifying me of this??? I know, I know, it is probably nothing, but geez..I would like for a medical person to actually acknowledge the fact that I should have a CT done about August....
And while I'm chatty, I might as well go ahead and say that the last 2 days have been hard...I miss Tom so much...Morgan told me to "get over it" ... I tried to explain to her that her Daddy was my whole life...I am still praying that God will take the feelings away....so I can have some peace...I'm not even hormonal...I feel like I have learned so many lessons...ok, enough about that..
Lukas got an award at school for having all A's all year long...actually, I think he has had all A's since he has been in school...so Mama's proud....
He also will have his art displayed at Fort Henry Mall this summer...probably the ones I posted earlier...Man, I'm so proud to be his momma!!!! He thinks its exciting that he has learned to weed eat...heck, I'm excited he can do it too....I love to mow, but hate weed eating!!! LOL
I'm rambling..so signing off....

my wednesday morn.

first off. Im typing with a hand and a half....which means that one arm is in a sling and the hand is sticking out enough to type...so therefore, maybe no punctuation,capitalization, etc.
now. I am one of those chronically late people. i'm always late for everything, but I do try,
I really do. and that is where I get into trouble. I drive fast...so yes, I was driving about 70ish or faster on the way to school. and for the record, this is my first wreck...but a car was coming around the curve and I tried to slow down on my side of the road,but my wheel dropped off the pavement. and I did struggle to bring it back under control for a good 200-400 feet...so in the road is a big S skid mark. I then saw that I wasnt' gonna get it under control and hit a culvert and at that point, not sure what happened next...I knew the van was rolling..and I knew everything was being thrown. I came alert enough to know that the van was rolling and that my head was down at the coffee/drink holder..the next thing I know is that it was upright on its wheels again...now the gossip in the neighborhood where I wrecked says I flipped 3 times...not sure how many times I flipped...all I know is that I was going back the other way when I landed...so I think I hit that deep culvert, went head over to top and then rolled back up on top...I havent been there to take any pictures of my van to see if this theory holds out and I will post when I do...maybe...
My elbow is like ground meat. and it had dirt. mud and glass in it...so that means that at some point, it has touched the ground...so I am thinking that if I wasn't such a big ol girl, that i definitely would have been thrown out...no. I wasnt wearing my seatbelt because for a long time now, when it rained,the seatbelt would get wet down in the door where it rolled up...so alot of times when it was or had been raining, I didn't put it on. Everyone that looked at the van commented on how I was lucky to be alive...I know I am....It is a blessing to know that God has bigger and better plans for you than death.
My right eye is black and blue and purple and any other color and swollen. I have terrible bruises aLL over me...some bruises, like the one on my coccyx, I have no idea how I got it and it keeps me from sitting,lying or pretty much anything!!! I can stand in a comfortable position...LOL So that's the scoop...I'm staying at Mom's and she is taking care of me...cause I can't get nothing on but a hospital gown at this point... thankfully,I can go to the restroom alone and she has a shower that has a "bench" in it, so I can do this alone....
I am one lucky person...I really am....you know, it is funnywhen you think you have God's plan figured out...but really. we have no clue

Church Splits...

This is definitely a life changing event...and I approach this subject with caution as I don't want anyone to be hurt or feel accused...
First I want to say that I have been on both sides...several times...the first even took place when I was around 12 years old. I had to leave all my church friends that I grew up with. As a child, I barely knew what happened, but I do know that alot of hurtful things were said that caused my parents to cry and be in turmoil for a long time. My parents kept from me the things that were said or done...they didn't want to ruin the influence of the people that left...these people were not reconciled till about 15 years ago and they still dont get along the best in the world, but are able to worship together...
What is funny is that splits happened in the Bible several times...
Acts 15
After the Jerusalem Council, Barnabas and Paul were planning on making their second journey. Barnabas wanted to take John Mark, but Paul opposed the idea because Mark had departed from them on the first Journey. Consequently, Barnabas took John Mark, and Paul took Silas and the two groups went their separate ways (Acts 15:36-41). After Barnabas gave his cousin a second chance, Paul was later able to call him a coworker (Philem 24; cf. Col 4:10) who was helpful to his ministry...so basically, Paul and Barnabas came to the point to agree to disagree...

Genesis13;8-9
So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.

Tom and I went thru splits at Faith two different times. Both times, it took the core of the church workers...Tom and I worried and prayed and prayed and worried... but you remember what happened? God had people to step up and take the place of those who had left and these people became strong members of the church body. Unfortunatly we don't know the full picture and God's plan...what I don't think is in God's plan is backbiting, strife, remarks that are a bit too forward, etc.
My next point that I want to make, is that I have never been part of the "leaving" split... I have never been in the group that left...so that makes me be in a much greater turmoil...I love my church and my church family...they have been so good to me...but then I hear of comments that were made and I try to analyze why comments with that kind of malice were made and I wonder where the christian attitude is...? This is not the people that loved me...
What if we ARE doing what God planned?? What if God knows what he is doing and has split the church up intentionally? I have prayed and prayed for confirmation that I have done the right thing and have gotten confirmation several times..but why are people still so bitter and angry about the split? Is it because of the hurt? Why do they feel the need to lash out at one another? Is that God telling them to do make hurtful or spiteful comments? I am praying even as I type that I don't say something that will offend anyone...I have mentioned to several people that talking bad about the church we left is NOT acceptable...
Most often when you get together a bunch of people, there will be conflict...I tried to explain to Lukas and Morgan why things happened...the only way I knew how to do it was that some of us were raised expecting more in the way of being fed and worship...If you have a shepherd who can feed his flock only tender meat, then the ones who need the tough meat will never get satisfied...the tough meat helps to clean the teeth, helps the digestive system...etc. I like to be plowed...I like a preacher to get right where I am at and open up things deep in my soul that I have closed off or sugarcoated....
I have heard preachers preach and do great jobs...but never left me thinking harder on anything...basically, I needed something deeper...why would others fault me for that?
The preacher last night at the church preached on "examine yourself"....I want to examine myself to make sure I don't have any hatred, malice or strife in my heart...in this day and time, we can't afford to loose people who are dear to us. Please try to understand that God is in control and he is doing what is good for each of us in the long run...making comments and backbiting will only cause hurt and anger....
Nothing in the Bible states that Paul talked bad about Barnabas and ridiculed him...I wont let anyone ridicule my church family just because our wants are different....
Again, I hope I havent hurt anyone or said anything to confuse anyone...your feedback is welcome...

I don't need a man!!!!! LOL

LOL...I don't need anyone to tell me how to do things...yes, granted, it is easier to holler at brothers or dad to fix what is wrong, but I hate being dependant on someone...always have....so..my "back up" lights were out, my headlights only worked on bright, my radiator coolant needed refilling and my rear windshield wiper needed changing...so, guess what ol'Sherry did? She read the book and done this maintanance herself!!!!!! I am so proud of me! yes, it took longer than necessary and yes, I still don't have the tail lights fixed, but I have come to the conclusion that it is a fuse...so, I 'm gonna prance to Wally world, get a fuse and replace it...!!! I don't need a man!

Lukas has a blog now...

It is so cute...you must go check it out and leave him a comment on one of his posts....
the address is
http://lukasblogging.blogspot.com
I don't think he totally understands the concept yet of a blog, but that's okay...he kept wanting to have a myspace page and I wouldn't let him, so when Morgan got her blog, he asked if he could have one and I kept putting him off and putting him off, so I finally gave in...
He jumped up this morning after I fixed it for him last night and said, I have to see if I have any comments..I explained to him that we hadn't told anyone yet...so I will try to remind you to frequently go check it out...it will be fun to see if this matures or fizzles out...

Random photos...

Today is April 1st...some people take photos everyday and post them on their blogs... I will in no way have time to do this, but today for the "City Daily Photo" the April theme is yellow...so as I wanted to be a part of this, I took 2 yellow pictures on my way to pick up lunch...nothing special, just random...

Big Yellow Schoolbus
A yellow cat that took off as soon as I stopped to take the picture...


A shelf in the library with yellow Curious George books..

Today's status..

Well, I'm PMS'ing so therefore, you all know my feelings...i'm lonely, I'm missing my old life...I note that it has been 6 months and 1 week and 1 day since Tom left...but you know what is funny?? As I keep up with the amount of time that has passed, I am still trusting in God to either fix me or fix my life and so many times we put a time limit on God...but last night, the preacher spoke of how God has no time limit...it says that a thousand years is as a day with the Lord...meaning no time...God doesn't look at he time...all he looks at is his plan unfolding...What is his plan?? Is it for us to be back together? Is it for us to go our separate ways? Some days I have hope, others, i really don't have any hope at all....but it is so hard....I will have more patience that Job when all this is over!!! LOL so pray for me this week...this is the week when I feel like I just can't go on another step mentally...

A new blog post...

Wow...Morgan posted another blog...she is totally amazing me...go check it out...
http://pirategirl107.blogspot.com/2009/03/our-storm.html

Hard Sunday

I have never found it easy to go to church on Sunday to the place were Tom pastored...I see the spot where he sat and miss him so bad...not as a husband, but as a pastor...There are songs that the choir sings that brings back so many memories and I really had a tough time yesterday handling it...The choir was full, you could feel God in the building and I knew that if Tom were there, it would be a service where he was so pleased/blessed... We started singing the first song in the choir and I broke down..just couldn't sing...just missed my pastor so bad...In his seat was another preacher who is filling in for the church...and of course he was totally enjoying the singing...it was so hard...that should have been Tom...
Morgan told me the same thing...that it was hard for her, because when we sing "How Great Thou Art" that she could remember Tom standing up and worshipping while we sang....
On my way to work this morning, I just questioned God...God, am I supposed to move on? or hang on?? What is the path that my life is supposed to take? I am just so ...I don't know...I just don't know... As I lay in bed last night, on my side of the bed, I realized it had been almost 6 months....6 months that I feel I am just existing...I am getting better at existing...I am dealing with it better...but I could really not believe that it has been almost 6 months since I have laid beside him in 0ur bed...6 months since I have lived...6 months of being alone...feeling sooo lonely...can I even hang on? I sometimes do wish that if I were to die, it would be a better route to take...I hate living without him in my world. 49 days till he will be free of me forever... I know, some people feel that I should be over this...but you all have to realize that Tom was my life...I have loved him since he was 12 years old. He was my strong hold...he was defense tower...he was my rock...he kept me sane...I always told him I would never make it without him..that I couldnt live without him...and here I am ...and it's been 6 months...
Ok, I know you all are tired of hearing about it...just a hard day..had to get some emotions out...

Morgan's blog...

You must go to her blog and check it out!!! She has started a blog and she is just amazing...she cracks me up at the "teen" language that she uses...like ruff for rough...but anyway, it's just a blessing to see her growing in God and I am praying it always stays that way!
Here's the link...go check it out...

http://pirategirl107.blogspot.com/

I dread..

I really dread Valentine's Day...I need to spend it with my single girlfriends, right?? Tom and I never did anything special, but for a couple years in our early marriage, we always went and rented a cabin alone...but I need to keep the memories at bay, right??!!! For all my married friends, please remind your spouse how much you love him and how much he means to you. If you are not feeling it, then pray that God gives it back to you. I promise no matter what you are feeling today or tomorrow, you do not want it to dictate the rest of your life!!! I know many times in my marriage, I felt I could do without Tom; I felt like I would be better off without him...I didn't want to hug or didn't want to kiss him...and I would have to pray for God to help me...I had to pray for him to restore the love feelings...If you are married, it is because God put you together. YOUR VOWS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE BROKEN!!!! Don't let the devil have them or help break them. I have heard of numerous couples just in the past 2 weeks that have split up, or getting divorced...I mean, the devil is truly on a rampage...if he can get your home, then the children are easier to get...If he can get your children, he can probably get you to give up...Support one another, pray harder than you have ever prayed for your marriage...even if things are going well...cause you never know what tomorrow holds...I have said it here before that since Tom was a Pastor/Minister, I really thought that my marriage would never be destroyed...but little did I know... My Dad always said... it takes just one pinprick of sin and after awhile, it turns into a sore that destroys everything. I truly don't want anyone else in this world to go thru what I have went thru and if I can say anything to help anyone, I want to...I am praying for your marriage...whoever may be reading this, I am praying God protect your marriage.

What in the world am I supposed to learn...?

I told Lukas the story of Job last night...how his end was greater the first...how he got back double(or more?? my mind is blank...) of what he had to begin with... how that God let him go thru the trial and it made him stronger...I think the story was more for me than him...LOL...Tom actually said that maybe it was the judgment of God on me....but I don't feel that way. I feel like I am just getting stronger. I am gonna come out victorious....in the end...at one point, I really thought I was gonna quit....quit what? quit trusting in God...quit living....just give up...I even considered checking myself into a mental hospital...I really thought I was loosing it...but God has really answered someone's prayers, cause I am so much more mentally stable...I really feel like this all will end one day and I will be okay till it does...
But anyway, I did go out on the porch the other night and looked up at the sky and said...."God, whatever it is I am supposed to learn, I hope I hurry up and learn it..."

• The refridgerator is leaking in front of it...and no one can figure out where it is coming from...my floor just keeps getting wet...
• I was eating supper the other day and looked down at the bottom of my island in my kitchen and noted the board was wet....??? We can't figure out where this water is coming from, since it is nowhere near the refridge...
• Mom called me at work yest and said, Sherry, all under your bathroom sink is soaking wet, but I can't figure out where it is coming from....
  
• My heater on the van is stuck on Defrost and the back heater will only work if I am accelerating
  
• My bathroom heater tore up....
• My curling iron tore up...

All this happened within a week....ARG!!!! So What in the world am I supposed to learn...?

When will the fight start???

I do not want to fight...my heart can't take it. I don't know God's plan, although I know he is with me and helping me. This weekend was actually 4 months that I have been without my love.
I go see the lawyer on Friday Morning at 7:30. I don't even like lawyers...I had one lie to me one time about a patient that I was caring for...so I know...it is just one of my pet peeves...but it is something that I have to do, obviously...but the thought this morning and last night is that God comes just on time...I don't know when that will be...I don't know how far this will get...I don't know what my future holds, so until then, I will continue trudging along...going thru the motions...if it takes fighting, then I guess that is what I have to do...but like I asked my Mom last night..."How would you feel if you had to take everything away from the man you love?" I mean, I can't imagine how in this world I will make it thru this...
Each night when I start to sleep, I pick up my Bible and before I randomly open it, I ask God for what I need...Last night, it was simply a prayer of "God, I need something...just anything to remind me that you are here with me..." I opened up my Bible, randomly and it came to Hebrews Chapter 11...the Faith chapter as I call it...now, in my crazy mind, the devil popped up and said, "Now, there can't be anything in this chapter that will help you. You know it is just about the Faith Warriors..." But in spite of that, I started to read...."Now Faith is the Substance of things hoped for...the evidence of things not seen..."
And it, of course smacked me right in the forehead...God was telling me to have Faith...to keep up the fight...to not give up... and I cont reading.... at verse 6, I had always heard the first part...actually the whole verse, but never had focused on the last part...it says..."He is the rewarder of them that diligently seek him"...Wow..so if I have to fight, there will be a reward, if I have to go thru with this, I will be ok...


Now, tomorrow, when I post that I can't take it another step, God will have to be here to help me again....Isn't it amazing how God gives you just what you need when you need it...and it only last till he gives you something else....?