I am having trouble letting go...

I can't let go..I think I have and then I find out quickly that I haven't...but I usually go off the crazy side of the deep end and cause way more problems than I originally had....I am just...quite..."disgusted" is not really a good word, "frustrated" is a better choice...Frustrated with my choice of action...frustrated cause I know I am stronger than this...but then again, am I? I just don't know...not sure why all of a sudden, this is getting harder again... I try not to dwell on it...I don't know what to do at this point or what route to take...