Heaviness...

The weight of its presence causes shoulders to stoop, eyes to darken...I think the bible talks about the spirit of heaviness... Proverbs 20-12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
You know how funny it is when you are in a situation and you are always trying to analyze...always trying to fix whatever is wrong...I have got to stop...I have to let God have control...Morgan has told me several times that I need to let God take control...I am such an evil person...I have so much bitterness and anger pent up within me that I can't be my normal self...no wonder he don't love me...who would??? Not me!!!! I have got to journal or something to get rid of all this...and I have got to pray!!! If God has forgiven me, then I HAVE to forgive him...
Matthew-6:14&15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Is it possible that I am barking up the wrong tree...?Can it be that we are not meant to be? He told me once again this morning that it was over...that I needed to get over him....that as soon as he had the money, he was going to see his lawyer....that he was happier than he had ever been...said he was now questioning if he had EVER loved me or not...
So now, of course I am questioning my whole marriage...was he never happy?? Did I make him that miserable...? Am I that hard to live with?? And he expects me to get over this?? Just like that I am supposed to move on??? I know I have been a horrible Christian, but can God please give me some consolation...I am almost to my breaking point...I mean mentally...Last night after this, I was on the verge of getting in my car, driving till forever...never contacting anyone...but my kids kept me here....then I thought of taking hundreds of pills to just get rid of this feeling I am continually feeling in my chest...I really need God...I need some comfort..I need something...!!!!! Can God hear me? I know this has gotten totally off base, but I have got to have some relief...I could type things here that would blow minds...but that is useless...I know what it is...he said that after Christmas he was getting a divorce...and the closer Christmas comes, the more sicker I get...I can't go thru that!!!!!! I can't! What am I missing..what should I be doing??? I can't stand it...Thanksgiving has been so hard...I love the holidays...and to know that I will have to go thru one of my favorite holidays without the love of my life...well, I just can't! My kids are so affected... but he don't know...he doesn't know that Lukas is becoming a mommy's boy more and more...he wants me touching him all the time....he wants to wrestle more and more with other men...cause I guess he is not getting much man attention at home...God, is this my punishment??? If it is, just let me know and I will try to handle it...I need so much help...God is the only one who can fix this situation....fix me...Maybe I need to move on...maybe I am praying the wrong prayer...maybe my children are supposed to be raised by me without a father in the house...maybe I am not worthy to have happiness...of course I have satan sitting on my shoulder telling me that everything I have done for God is useless...was to no avail...I know I am a sorry person...I am just getting what I deserve...

Thankful..

The things I am thankful for are totally different this year...I am thankful for many things but here are a few...

• That I have two children...cause I have to be strong for them and without them, I would be in a mental ward somewhere...
• That I still have emotions to feel anger and hurt and sadness...that means I haven't went totally out of my mind yet
• That my children still have a relationship with their father
• That my home has seen love...lots of it...at least that is what I thought...
• That I am alive, although most of the time I feel dead on the inside
• That God is still in control...although I have a hard time letting Him take control
• That my secrets are revealed only to God and he has forgiven me and understands me like no one else
• That my pride is not as powerful over me as I thought it was...
• That I still have to hold my head up, no matter what I think people think of me...
• That I have a church to go to that helps me carry my burden

Me and him...

This is a casual picture of me and him at the Fun Fest 08 in Kpt, TN. I really thought everything was perfect...or did I? I don't think I focused enough on my relationship...just took it for granted that we would always be together...

I miss this man soo much!!!!!

Had a bad day yesterday...just lonely...you know what I mean...I told someone it is like half of me is disconnected from my body. There is not 15 minutes that go by that he is not in my mind...hard day!!! This is one of my favorite pictures of him that I took a while back...he doesn't have his beard here...

Photo opportunity...Neighborhood Churches

This church is about 1 1/2 miles from my house. It sets up on the hill in the old Persia Community. Tom has preached here one time.

Photo opportunity...Neighborhood Churches

This is a church that is defunct...is that the correct word? LOL In other words, it is closed down. I am not even sure what the name of it is...

Photo opportunity...Neighborhood Churches

This is a church that sits about 3 miles from me in another direction. It is called Dodson Creek United Methodist Church. I really wasn't trying to get it to look spooky, but I did like the grungy affect here...

Photo opportunity...Neighborhood Churches

This is a church about 3 miles from my house...It is called Hugh's Memorial Primitive Baptist Church. It is actually pastored by my first cousin's husband. Tom has preached here before and has also held revival here. It just looked to pretty sitting in the trees in the fall, I couldn't resist a picture session.

Word for the day: Forgiveness

So I am at home the other night thinking of a recent heated conversation between me and Tom. I realize that I am so full of ANGER at him, that I can barely even speak civil to him. I realized that I needed to find forgiveness in my heart. For what? Because I am so mad at him for leaving, mad at him for giving up, mad at him for everything... So, I am praying as of last night for God to help me find forgiveness in my heart for him. There is no way that anything is going to change unless my anger is dissipated and forgiveness takes place...Of course I turn to the Bible to find out what I should do...the first thing I decide to look up says to "forgive as Christ forgave you"...well, that hit a raw note...I mean, I really do feel that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I have even forgiven myself. But what if Christ had not have forgiven me??? And here I am not forgiving Tom...But yes, that is easier said than done, so I am gonna pray about it because I know that coming to the realization of something is the first step in correcting the problem. I was looking thru my sermon journal that I keep in my Bible and came across a sermon preached at the church by E. McAmis and he had made a statement about forgiveness...When Christ forgives you, it is as if a chalkboard is wiped clean. So, in other words, I felt like I have to treat and feel towards Tom as if he has/ we have a clean slate. Gosh, that will be hard, and I won't be able to do it on my own!!!!

The Shack...

This is what I am currently reading...go check it out...everything I have heard about it is good, so I am on the second chapter...The Book is called The Shack...go read it...or borrow mine when I get done!!! LOL Notice I have lots more time to read since I don't have Tom around...kinda keeps me busy...gotta stay occupied. Gotta keep my mind occupied...

Fireproof

Click here to see a movie trailer...or go to the site...

The Arts

This is the second book in the series that I have just finished reading. They are good, but not so good that I can't put it down, know what I mean... so if you want to read a book that you can put down, just a casual read, this series is good. I do think it is good for teenagers, (which is the target audience) since it does deal with the fact of parents and teens...
The other Art I experienced this weekend was the movies...Before Tom moved out, I had asked him to go see a movie with me. It was called Fireproof and it was made by the same church who produced "Facing the Giants".
It is one of my favorite movies, and now the new movie, Fireproof, is again a very good movie that I think every married person should see. No, for those of you who want to know, it did nothing for Tom. LOL
So, go see Fireproof, or rent it as soon as it comes out...it is worth it.

Book I am reading...

I have just finished the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and it is a pretty good book.
It did keep my attention, so I have started on the second in the series called The Second Summer of the Sisterhood... here is a link to go read about the characters and decide if you want to read it... Anyway, that's what I am doing these days...

"Strive to enter in"

I went to church at our church last night, even though Tom is no longer Pastor there, he was working, so me and the kids went...Morgan said when she got in the car, "how wonderful it was to see everyone!" Lukas agreed and it made me glad I went. There is so much love there. But anyway, I felt like the sermon was just for me. He preached on "Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. Luke 13;24 " He had alot of good thoughts and the one that stuck out most is an illustration by John Bunyan and I can't find it online, but it was about the "narrow road" and how there wasn't enough room on it for me and my sins...also how much an Olympian strives to get his body prepared to win the gold and how hard this is...I do not strive near as hard as I should in my christian walk with God. Another statement he made was "This is not a passive religion" If there is not some kind of movement, feeling, striving, pressing then do we have what it takes? Anyway, I was blessed....Thanks to God. The crowd was really good last night and this made me feel good to see people still coming, not just for Tom. The verse keeps coming to me that He places all members in the body as he sees fit (But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. ICor 12;18) and I can see how God has definitly placed people in certain positions, even if it is just to pray or sing in chior and we have to trust that God knows what he is doing...we have to trust that He is in control and knows where he wants us. Please continue to pray for us...me, Tom and kids...nothing is any better, we just need prayer.

Loftin, my great nephew

I have pictures of the cute little man!!!! He is gorgeous!!! And looks just like Sierra! He is the cutest little thing!!! He is getting big enough to sit up and smile at you when you talk to him! Of course I love to take pictures of babies, so here they are!

My Fall Field Trip...

I did go on a field trip the other day with the 4th and 5th graders...It was to a Civil War re-enactment...Beautiful day and I saw this photo op and decided to shoot. I thought it was pretty...kinda made me wish I was a maiden about to be swept off my feet....trouble is, it would probably take all these horses to do it!!!! HA!!!!!

Lukas Super Bowl

Last night the Cowboys fell to the Vikings...got a few cool pictures....I was afraid Lukas would be disappointed that they lost, but he told me on the way home..."I'm not too sad that we lost..." I said, well, good and explained to him how that was being nice and that he had won the Super Bowl last year and that it was nice of him to give others a chance...(being the nice little mommy that I am!!! LOL) The last picture is his spot on the banner...with his little bitty signature, like his daddy....

Doing better today...

I seem to be doing better today emotionally...thanks for your prayers, but please don't stop, I need them so bad, still...Love you all!
Last night my verse that I opened the Bible to said...And the God of peace will bruise Satan under your feet shortly...(Romans 16;20) I think it is just so encouraging to know that I can just pop open my bible and ask him for something to help me and this is the type of things I get...Wonderful, Merciful Saviour

CroptoberFest/Scrapbooking weekend

My scrapping weekend! How great it was to go and get some stress relief...I feel so much better and able to deal a little better. Is that bad? I hope not! This was my ninth year!!! I can't believer that it has been that long...I have created some great friendships and in some ways, I can be more myself with them, cause I don't have any expectations to live up to...does that make sense? There are 4 other ladies there that are named Sherry...I will tell you that story later, when I have my camera to post the picture. I got 15 pages done, I think...I also found a machine I MUST have...and since it cost way too much money I guess I will have to just dream about one and one day maybe I can get it...when my rich uncle gets out of the poor house...LOL
Croptoberfest is at a baptist youth camp, named as Camp BaYoCa, hence the first two letters of baptist youth camp...and it is in the mountains of Wears Valley...no phone service...no phone period in the area where we stay...we stay in bunkhouses that have 8 bunks in each side...bathroom with two showers and stalls... then we scrap in the dining hall...we just basically leave our stuff out all weekend and scrap as we want to all weekend...we borry other tools and ideas from everyone else...demos from other people are cool too...
so anyway, here are some pictures of layouts I done at the fest... the first one is a two page spread of Jaida on this last Easter... it was still kinda nippy, hence the jacket...

God's Will...

I am not in the best shape this morning, but I am functioning...Thank God...
Tom resigned from the church yesterday. He was feeling so much pressure from "life" he almost could not handle just breathing....I don't know what God's will is, but rest assured it will be for the best...remember, all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. He did say he felt relieved...Tom has alot of other decisions to make that are gonna affect me and his family in the coming months, please pray again for God's will. I have talked to him till I'm blue in the face, but the problem is that it is hard to lie to God...and when you want something totally different from God's will, it is very hard to accept...Tom doesn't even want to pray for the right thing to do, because he knows what is right and that God may send him in the "right direction". I told him last night I was gonna pray the "wrath of God" down on him...LOL.
I am not saying I know God's will, but there are some things and ways that you just know is not God's will...he kept saying "what if" last night...I said, Tom, that is just the devil telling you that, because God would not approve that!" So, please just pray....He has agreed to make a final decision by the first of the year. This will be a very trying time for me and I will need all the prayers you care to give me!Oh, and I don't want to forget the kids...Morgan and Lukas had a really hard time, Lukas more than Morgan...he cried for most of the day yesterday and his little eyes were still red this morning....broke my heart..Please pray for them...Morgan is more like Tom and keeps her feelings in and Lukas is more like me and has a softer heart....Kinda weird...I wouldn't have thought that I had a soft heart. I don't think I do, it is just that I can only take so much and then I do break down...
So as of now, I am no longer a Pastor's Wife...

I can't make it...

I am at my wits end...I don't feel I can make it another step. I have stood all I can take...I am gonna have to give up... I am hanging on by a thread...It is starting to break...What am I gonna do? I am crying out to God, and feel that He is there, but I need strength to hang on...I need help, so bad...not just me, but the ones involved...I again asked God to let me read something last night that would help me...and he said "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap if we faint not." Galatians 6:9. So, yes, God is here... He is helping me...But why is the devil fighting so much??? I truly would like to know the future in cases like this...so I would know if I am gonna have to give up anyway. Is it even worth fighting for? I am a nervous wreck. I am sick constantly. I know my face shows worry signs all the time...I need to give up..for my saneness...
I have fell in a pit of quick sand and can't get out. I think I am near the top, then I loose my grip and sink back in. I can't pull out...I can't make it any longer. Please, God, help me. Please...

God Speaks...

It is Sat night, well actually Sun Morning and I really need to go to bed, but I am still just amazed at several things that happen in my life... Today, I did go see Jason Crabb at Dollywood. He did an awesome job and a really funny thing, was that he performed bare footed..said he didn't have time to get his socks and boots on when he heard his introduction... It was the first time I had ever saw him in person, I wasn't disappointed, but I wasn't totally thrilled either. I do think he "performed", but in all fairness, that is what he was there to do. But overall, I was totally pleased that I got to see him...and really enjoyed the 45 minute concert. But anyway, wanted to say that he did sing several songs that I felt was for me. Jason also said, "Blessings do not depend on the opinions of people" Well, for some reason, this really stuck out to me too... After all I am going thru, God was speaking to me thru those songs and testimony...and then to top it off, I ran into one of my friends down there and shared a little with her about life's troubles and she said, "Well, isn't it funny how that God can get us humble, sometimes"...This totally caught my attention. I have had a peace in the last day that I can't explain...no, the problems are not gone, but several things have come my way that I just feel like is God speaking to me, giving me reassurance that He is still in control. I have picked up the Bible several nights and just opened it, praying for something to be there to help me, and do you know what the verse was the first night? Our problems are under His feet. Wow! What a consolation...that has helped me thru this week. The next night, was a scripture about, and I can't quote it, but it was saying how that God's mercy was upon a person. Right now, I need God's mercy so bad...

Sneak Peak at Mohawk Memories Photography

http://blog.mohawkmemoriesphotography.com/?p=160#comment-81

Here is the link to 2 more sneak peaks of Morgan and Lukas..she did a great job!!! I am so thrilled and want to work 90 hours a week so I can buy them all!! LOL
Anyway, go check them out!

Mi Amigos

Here is a picture of the girls I used to trabajas (work) with at the clinici in Morristown. I miss these gals and all thier culture lessons.. Lupe, Ana, me and Judi

Photo shoot by Mohawk Memories

A lady at school was having a "photo party" and I went and took the kids...you got a 20 minute session with all the different poses you want.... she is on her way to posting more, but go check out this link and scroll down to Morgan and Lukas...

http://blog.mohawkmemoriesphotography.com/?paged=2
I really thought it brought out thier fun personalities...and Lukas' dimple is shining...too cute!
I hope I am not in the mood to spend money when I see the final proofs... She is working on more tonight and will have more of us posted later, I will send a link...

This week...

Monday, Morgan had volleyball practice till 5pm, Lukas had to be at football field at 4:45pm...Morgan then had a birthday party to go to at the park at 6pm...She ended up walking with a bunch of her friends to the park...Lukas won his ballgame by 2 points. It was a really good second half. He played the Vikings. They are a real challenge this year. I tried to mow some with the push mower when I got home. Accomplished a little, then it was too dark to see.
Tuesday, Morgan had a hormonal breakdown early in the morning...mostly because I had told her that her duffel bag was not to be used as a book bag and the strap came loose as she was going up the steps to catch the bus...well, this was icing on the cake, because she had already gotten up with only 30 minutes to get ready for the bus. Tom had told me last night that he couldn't take the kids this morning, so I went up and set her clock for 5:30 and her phone for 6:00...still she didn't get up.
So after having a screamin fit, saying "Why does my life have to be this way??? I can't handle it" I just told her to come back inside and I motioned for the bus to go on. (then all day I worried about Lukas, since he was on the bus expecting the driver to wait on her) But, I left Morgan with Mom and Jaida and she had a day to rest. Lukas had practice this afternoon and Morgan actually went to sleep in the car while I studied my Intro to Psychology.
Wednesday, Tom called and said he was working the floor at the nursing home and if would be great if I could come in and work from 4pm-7pm...Morgan has practice this afternoon, so I picked up Lukas from school and this is what I done...got the Pal's on the way home to eat, since it was almost 8pm.
Thursday, I am so tired and I go straight home after having a bad day...chest pressure-wise, worried, and I get Morgan's fuzzy blanket and lay on my bed and doze off to sleep...Lukas comes home in about 10 minutes, but he doesn't wake me, although I hear him come in....then I wake up at 4:20 to take him to football practice. Morgan is gone to her game on the bus with the school. It was too far away and she isn't playing much on varsity anyway, so I didn't go.
At football practice, I can't go back to sleep in the car, so I read..I am reading Nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks so I read some...Tom comes, which ends up not being a good idea at all. I go to the nursing home to take Lukas to see Tom since he has to work graveyard, which will make him working 24 hours, I go get him something to eat and decide to just work a little since I have to wait in town for Morgan to get back from her game...(they won) come home and can't sleep because of chest pressure and caffiene!!! Talk to Tom on the phone for a little while, then I toss and turn all night..
Friday, plan on going to the Cherokee Ballgame tonight since it is homecoming and the kids are saying all thier friends will be there...
Saturday, plan on going to Dollywood since Jason Crabb will be there in concert....

Word for the day

CHANGE

"to become different in some particular way, without permanently losing one's self or its former characteristics or essence."

I usually like change... I hate change...so what are my thougths on change? Change happens and for the most part, I can handle new situations. But lately, new situations are NOT what I need. I do not need change. I need stability. I need the comfort that comes from stability. The definition above is correct, but this time, I think I have lost myself. I think I am not changing very well this time. I am at fault for it all. I am the one who grabbed change by the horns and took it. I do not like change. Sometimes, change is for the better, not this time. I don't think I need to change. Things were fine the way they were. well, not really, but it wasn't change. It was the same. What made me think I wanted change? I am changed, forever, and I will never be the same. I never want change again. I want the same. I want to be assured that things are the same...forever... CHANGE..right now, I hate it.

Back to School Test...

I forgot to mention that I took my COMPASS test for admittance into Walters State Comm. College to at least start working on my RN. I will most definitely have to have some kind of financial assistance, but I am praying this will all work out... so how did I do? I ended up having to take two remedial math classes, (Alg 1 and Alg 2) which is not surprising to me...cause I can't do that stuff, so I need taught! I did pass the English, Reading and Writing part... YA!!!!
I cannot register until the spring session, so that will be in Jan. 09...so in the meantime, I am gonna try to CLEP out of several tests...right now I am working on Intro to Psychology. Will keep you posted!

Cifford, the Big Red Dog

Guess who this is???!!! Guess who had a blast???

Scattergories

Using the first letter of my first name to complete the category...harder than it looks
WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Sherry

BOY NAME: Samuel

GIRL NAME: Samantha

OCCUPATION: School Nurse

A COLOR: salmon

SOMETHING YOU WEAR: scrubs

FOOD: sour krout

SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: soap

REASON FOR BEING LATE: slothful

SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: shut up

SOMEPLACE TO TRAVEL TO: Spain

My first CPR episode.

First, let me say, it definitely was an experience! I had heard people talk of what happens in CPR, heck, I even am a CPR instructor. I teach the class...and, I have seen it done in the ER with a healthy man on a stiff ER table....but nothing had prepared me for the experience I had last evening. Pressing on the chest of an old, debilitated body was nothing like compressing on the "Annie" dummy. So, here's the story..
I am at work, I hear someone yell, "Call it, Call the code" When I noted that it was my patient, I took off to the room...Another nurse had beat me there, and she immediately started CPR. As I stood and attempted to ask the resident if he was okay, I hear his ribs cracking....I expected that, but really didn't expect to "hear" them. She compressed about 4 times, and stepped away to reach the ambu bag...I start in compressing... I totally expected the bones to be already broken and no more to break...Unfortunately, I was wrong...Each time I compressed, I felt the bones crack and break, numerous times underneath the pressure. It was literally like I was crushing the person's bones into a million pieces!!!! I know, this is harsh, but after about 4 compressions, the other nurse was back and said, Sherry, do you want me to relieve you? I say, "yes, please...I have never done this before..!" I didn't have time to think of the feelings I was having, as I continued the ambu bag, and other things waiting on the EMS. When they arrived, they hooked him up to the defibrillator...I thought, oh my gosh, am I gonna be able to watch this?? Am I gonna be able to watch as his body comes off the bed???? When they say all clear, I am thinking, okay, do I look or turn away?? What do I do??? Fortunatly, they had some sort of rhythmn so I didn't have to see that... But I will tell you a funny part...they asked for a suction machine... so I ran out the door to get them one from our crash cart...came back in, wasn't in the room for no more than 1 minute and they asked for a different tip for the suction...so, I ran back out to get it, was looking up the hallway, grabbed for the drawer to pull it open, and already had my body in a backward motion when I realized that the cart had been moved... so down I went, right on my butt in the middle of the hallway....It was totally hilarious!!!

Sitting, Relaxing with my Ipod

Last night, Tom was at work...he had to work till about 10:30....I was stressed...just because things weren't in my control...(imagine that!!!?) (BTW, Tom always says I have a problem going to plan B, but that is a whole other story) Anyway, the kids had went on to bed...Morgan went at 7:30 and Lukas went to bed at 8:00pm...they were totally worn out...I could clean house...nope, too stressed...I could make up bed...nope, gonna sleep in it soon...I could watch TV... nope, nothing on that interests me...So, I grab my Ipod and slip out the door...It is about 70 degrees outside so I plug in my ipod and lean back in the chair and listen...and look at the sky... saw millions on millions of stars..the sky was black with white dots...beautiful!!!! I saw several planes go by and wondered who was on them..how many people were in the sky above my head...where were they going? What were they thinking...
Listened to music...some praise and worship music...looked at the creation and what God had created...
Needless to say, I wasn't stressed anymore...who cares if I am not in control of things...I don't need to let it bother me!!!!!

Defense...

Lukas got a call from his coach the other night after practice...but he was already in the bed, so I took the message...He made me proud...Coach said that Lukas had done a great job during tackling drills today and that he was showing improvement over last year (he played tight end) and that more than likely he had earned him a place on defense...
now, I asked Tom what this meant, cause even though I know quite a bit about football, I wondered how this ranked....obviously, your defense is a good "side" to be on...I mean, you are stopping the other team, right....? Anyway, made Momma proud!

The Little Lover...

I think of the little rascals and can see Alfalfa saying "I'm a lover, not a fighter" when I think about Lukas and his actions this past weekend...
First off, you should know that he spends more time in front of the mirror than Morgan does... his clothes has to be "stylin" and he takes great pride in how he looks in the mornings...so...with that said, at the football game Friday night, he and Tom went to the Cherokee ballgame... he let Lukas go a couple of risers down to sit with friends. The next thing you know, Lukas has one girl sitting at his side and ONE ON HIS LAP!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!??? Tom says he just kept watching them....but never said anything to him...
He says he is dating a girl at school also. I noted on his homework that he had a little booklet that asked about what he liked most about school. He put "all my friends, and that I am dating one of them."
Then, last night, we were talking about his day and he is speaking of the girl that was sitting on his lap and he says, "every time I looked at her, she was just smiling this little smile...she was cracking me up."
The boy acts just like his DADDY!!!!!!!

School Started...

Well, back to the old routine....it consists of...

Finally getting back in a routine
Early alarm clocks (four goes off in our house each morning)
Football practice
Volleyball practice
Lukas shower each night
Morgan shower each morning
Cook supper or not???
Homework
Sign Homework folders
Get snacks for the day each morning
Spelling words
Math facts
State Capitals
Lunch money
Read AR books!
New friends, old faces
New schedules
Tired all the time
Rushed weekends!

I AM A GREAT AUNT!!!!

Great Aunts are supposed to be old! They are supposed to be very old...remembering the civil war or World War I....I mean, not a lot of people have great aunts...I think I did when I was little...I remember Aunt Sally on my Dad's side...I had a few others, but I only vaguely remember their names and sure don't remember what they look like! I have 2 great aunts still alive on my mother's side...but like I said, they are historic...well, anyway...
Sierra had her baby yesterday...she is fine and he is beautiful....his name is Lofton (SP?) Xavier Looney...what a pretty name...

Thoughts I want to share of other Pastors Wives...

" Being married to a Pastor has it’s challenges but it also has a multitude of blessings. It is a humbling thing to be married to a man of God who is called to shepherd the people of God. To come along side of him as his helpmeet, to encourage, to pray for, to lift him up in prayer and serve the Almighty God together. Although there are times of trial, being married to a Pastor has been one of the greatest blessings of my life."
This is exactly how I feel...she said it great!


"Pastors may feel prepared for the lifestyle, but, says one study, 84% of wives don't. "I had no clue how to be a pastor's wife," says Amy Andrews, 32, a mother of two in Rochester, N.Y. After nine years, "I still don't." (from a TIME mag article)

I thought I knew what it was like to be a Pastor's wife...I mean, I had lived all my life in a Pastor's home! What else could there be?? Well, I NEVER had an idea!!!! I mean, what really strikes me most is the Mother Hen feeling that me and Tom have toward the church...we don't want anyone to hurt them or destroy them. When God used the word 'Shepherd', it was totally true...cause I can't imagine how much more that Tom feels like this...

My B/P today...

Is 145/104...wow..really healthy there, Sherry! Don't fuss! I am starting on a new medication tonight! I know, I am a nurse and I should know better!!! Well, like I said, I am taking care of it! I do have a headache!!!

OMG, He really CARES about ME!!!

I have had a few very "away from God" weeks in the past month...thoughts running rapid thru my mind of evil things, people distracting me from the Christian way, and I had gotten pretty low....so low, in fact, that Tom even commented on my "God relationship". Well, as alot of you know, if Tom tells me something that I know is true,but don't want him to comment on, I am gonna either die trying to deny it or try to fix whatever is wrong...well, it just frustrates me in myself that Tom would say anything....Anyway, I had this problem, went to Bible study and asked for prayers...and obviously someone got ahold of God for me...On last Thurs night,I grabbed a devotional book beside my bed and started to read...it spoke of how if you continue to do something even when your conscience is telling you "No", that eventually it will quit bothering you...(well, I knew that, but you know how it is when you want to do something and try every way to justify) On Friday, I opened the Bible to read a scripture and Man, oh Man, did that hit home also!!!! I mean wow!!! Was this God talking or what??? So I started thinking on Sunday morning as I awoke, how good God was to care about me and even take the time to remind me of where I was wrong...well, then, as I got to Sunday School, we were late, of course, I walked in and the teacher was teaching once again, exactly on the scripture I read on Friday...His last statement really got me...no matter what you do, it will not affect only you! It will affect everyone around you...Talk about God REALLY speaking to me...so now I am thinking how awesome He is!! I mean, he took the time to Show me...a person who should already know... that He cares for me...Tom's message on Sunday night was especially for me too... it made me realize that it was just the Devil tempting me and trying to get me to fail and no matter what, I can make it!!! So, I feel really honored....you know, people can tell you all your life that God cares for you, but when you realize it in ways like this, it means soo much!

Old Woman at Hollister

This is sooo unimportant, but I thought it was weird...ok, so I am at the Mall at Hollister switching an item and they have two cash registers side by side...at the other register, beside me, there is this old woman who is at least 65 with a bottle of cologne...she has a receipt and claims that she purchased the cologne there yesterday and when she got it home, it was half used...the cashier confirmed that it had indeed been opened and scanned a new bottle...that is when it showed up on the screen that it was the wrong receipt...it wasn't even the same kind of cologne she had with her...now, go make up your own reasoning behind this...did she know that?? Had grandson set her up??? what exactly was her story???!!!!!

Doing my civic duty.../Donating blood

I actually went to the nursing home today and gave blood...first time I have ever gave blood...it seems that a nurse should have done this before, and I have wanted to for a long time, but it never was convenient...so, I figured that this time I would make time and just go....So I did...usually needles don't bother me and I was actually reading Lukas' T-cap grades and it did hurt, but I didn't look...I usually watch the stick...but didn't watch this time just because...so anyway, I did look down right before she took the needle out and it literally freaked me out!!!!! I think it was bigger than an 18 gauge!!! Does any of you medical people know what size needle is used??? I mean, this needle was bigger than a pencil lead!!!!! HUGE!!!! I am glad I didn't look before she stuck me or I would have passed out.

Pictures I have messed with

I am on a photography group and we have been doing a technique with our photos using Adobe Photoshop. So, I took these pictures on the Holston River where the lake joins the River and got these pictures...

My BAD PIRATE!!!!!

ARG!!! Just had to share this with you Tom fans...knowing how I like the "bad boy" types...(shame on that preacher's wife!!!) I just love this picture...look at his lips, if that ain't a snarl, I don't know what is!!! Does he EVER smile for pictures???

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

"Tom's Leaving on a Jet plane and don't know if he'll be back again..." LOL, I am singing that song to him...He is leaving tomorrow for Madison, WI to do his clinicals for RN...I am so proud of him. He is scared..I rarely see this side of him...actually kind of vunerable...but I told him to charm the sox off the instructors and he will do fine!!! He will be back on Monday...oooh, I will miss that man...

Scrapbook page in Mom's Album...

I am doing Mom an album for her family...it starts with pages with her parents on them...she actually cried when she saw those two pages...but anyway, that is another story...here is a page I done of the "ol homeplace" I really don't think anyone had ever taken a picture of it, cause when she saw just the picture, she said, "well, where's that at?" You just gotta know Mom... anyway, I thought it turned out really good...It is kinda hard to see that it says Home Sweet Home

Hee hee...after taking this picture, I noted my letters of Home were crooked...but I fixed that....

A trip to the American Flag

I took a trip with the Residents of the nursing home to the city park here in town. They routinely provide trips for them to get "out" and do fun things...and they need a nurse to go with them. So I was asked to go, much to my delight. Okay, for the setting...it was a breezy, very warm day and they were going to have a cookout at the park...there were approximately 10-15 residents that participated...so we were all sitting under the pavilion playing Bingo when John asked to be pushed around to "check out this place". So I agreed to push him. Now, about John Doe, he is from up North, a Veteran, and is soooo northern in his attitude, demeanor, dialect, and personality...I mean, you can't talk to him 2 minutes without realizing he is not from East TN. He is fairly oriented, but confused at times as to where his location is... in other words, he is oriented enough to go to the park without getting lost, but couldn't make it on a trip to Food City by himself....

So, here we go, up to the parking lot...I am pushing him in his wheelchair and he is a pretty good sized man...I am huffing and puffing!!!! Now, at the park, there are only a couple sidewalks...otherwise, it is grass...all grass...well, we get to the parking lot and I say "Where do you want to go?" He sees the sidewalk leading to the flag...I want to go up there....

Well, imagine that!!! That is the sidewalk that leads up to the flag, which is on the HIGHEST point in the park!!! But, you know me, not to deny anyone in his condition anything, I take off...me pushing him...trying not to huff and puff in his ear as I am struggling to push him up the hill (needless to say, my legs were totally sore the next day!!!!!) So we arrive at the top of the hill, where the sidewalk ends..almost at the base of the huge American flag.

As we got to the top, he wanted me to stop. He wanted to salute the flag and he puts his wrinkled hand to his forehead and salutes. It is the most beautiful salute I have ever seen. He spoke these words. "Long may 'Ol Glory fly"

Wow!!!! How touching...so then we pause to look out over the view from the top of the hill...he sees the cemetery which he calls by a different name, thereby telling me that he don't know where he is...I almost laugh...but I don't correct him...let him believe he is where ever he wants to be!

Then he turns back to the flag...and he begins to speak...in a tone that sounds far off...not as if he is talking to me, but as if he is giving a speech to millions of American citizens...and there I stand, with the breeze blowing our hair, with the flag whipping in the wind, and listen.

"That is the best flag of all the nations...even the flags that have alot of colors like...(he pauses to think)....Argentina....they can be proud of their flag because it is so colorful, but even though ours has only three colors, it is still the best flag of all nations...Look at her...undisturbed except by the wind...see the ripples in it? See it waving? It is proud to be a flag. People wonder how this nation could stay together for so long without fighting...this nation was born in 1776...the birthday of a great nation-- we should always take time to honor July 4th as a great birthday. Let's see, the country is how old? 1776 to twenty 0 five..."I corrected him at this point, "twenty 0h eight" Bless his heart, he never did stop to figure how old...he just kept talking..."They placed that flag at the top of the hill so that all could see it. They put it up as the biggest flag in TN"...then he added "at that time" (Now, mind you, this is not a true fact...but how sweet for him to think so...) but I just let him keep rambling on...I wish I had a tape recorder so all could hear what he had to say about the flag...he then started talking To the flag....didn't hear all that he said, but his last words as he saluted were "Fly, Fly, Fly, 'Ol Glory, Fly" He took his hand down from his head and said I am ready to go...

Stunning...Absolutely beautiful...I am on the verge of tears....

My Lukas photos...

I didn't post my pictures of Lukas that I took, so here are a few...

This is his sarcastic expression...Sooo him!!!!!

This one is soooo much his expression!!! It is sooo him!!! So that is why I love it...

Red Bird, Red Bird Fly Away!!!

Five to Six mornings ago, I kept hearing a noise outside my window. There is a tree branch there and on two mornings, I actually went to the window, tried to see the branch that was obviously scraping against my window. But both times I checked, there was no branch..but the noise only happened a few times so no big deal, right??
Well, in the last 4 days, I found out that it is a bird landing on the branch...so is the weight of the bird making the branch scrape my window? still couldn't find no place where it was touching, but I vowed to myself I would cut the branch...just in case I was missing it...The noise got worse and more frequent...to the point that it woke me up on Saturday morning, and on Sunday Morning, woke me up at 6:40am!!! I was irate!!!!! So I stood and watched...a red bird was sitting on a branch and all of a sudden would fly into the window....SMACK!!! The kids tell me that it is also doing it in the living room and foyer window...they call it the retarded red bird...we even explored the possibility that it could be blind..I mean, what bird would intentionally fly into something...don't they have a radar against such things...well, maybe it couldn't see it...??? I am confused, but I do know one thing..I have to stop the bird, cause I have to work graveyard for 4 days this week and I will need to be sleeping...So this morning, I send Tom on a mission...go kill the bird...now I know, I know, I am not a person who is intentionally trying to kill animals or birds, but this bird needs to be put out of its misery..I mean, something is definitely wrong with it, right??? I hear a gun shot and later he says he wasn't shooting "at it" (yeah, whatever...isn't that what all men say when they miss....)LOL
I even get on the web, look up the bird...he is red all over...has an orange bill and a black mask....yeah it is a Northern Cardinal...doesn't say nothing about them being mentally challenged, though...Tom laughs at me for looking it up on the web...
I go to church, ask a bird lover, also ask a vet student...no one knows anything...

So, tonight after church, I go to my parents house and mention it to them...they tell me that it is a superstition that someone is going to die in that house...okay, so that is freaky!!!!! Who is gonna die??? Me, Tom, Lukas or Morgan....???He then tells a story about my neighbor who's grandmother passed away in the last couple of years and there was a red bird that pecked on their window...Well, naturally, Morgan freaked out when I got her in bed and started bawling, swearing that it is Tom that is gonna die on his flight to Wisconsin on the 10th...(another story) but anyway, I calm her down and look on the web...All I can find is that there is no superstition....

I Do find out that a red bird is very territorial. Your typical Red birds that you see are male...(the female has more brown in her feathers...)So this is definitely a male and I find out that alot of people have them pecking on their windows...they see their reflection, think it is another bird, and is trying to fight it...makes total sense...so it said to tape a white paper to the window, so it can't see it's reflection and that would be all it would take...so that is done...let's see if it works!!!!

Where, oh Where...

has my summer gone....I can't believe it is already the end of June...Morgan and Lukas and I have stayed very busy this summer!!! They just got back from a week at camp, and of course Morgan spent a week of recuperating from her tonsils being out and I have worked at least 36 hours every week since school has been out!!!! Wait, stop...I love the summer... I don't want it to go by so fast!!!!!!!!VBS is coming up next week, so that will end up the month and it will only be about 30 some days till school starts back!!!!!! UGH!

A Classic Lukas Quote!!!!

Okay, so Morgan got her tonsils taken out in the last month. Well, her Dad and I have talked several times of how her uvula was so swollen...so one day, Lukas was in the kitchen and said, "Mom, my uvula is hurting"...I said "Son, what is your uvula, anyway?"

Are you ready for this???



"You know, Mom, it is the ball sack at the back of your throat!!!!"

Morgan's pictures of Lukas...

Okay, so I been teaching Morgan some little things about photography..she loves to have a camera in her hand and she is as bad as me snapping pictures...so here is what she captured of Lukas

Morgan

Sadie's Prom Pix

So, Sadie wanted me to take some pictures of them at prom...here is the end result...I took over 100, but I guess these are the best!