This is definitely a life changing event...and I approach this subject with caution as I don't want anyone to be hurt or feel accused...
First I want to say that I have been on both sides...several times...the first even took place when I was around 12 years old. I had to leave all my church friends that I grew up with. As a child, I barely knew what happened, but I do know that alot of hurtful things were said that caused my parents to cry and be in turmoil for a long time. My parents kept from me the things that were said or done...they didn't want to ruin the influence of the people that left...these people were not reconciled till about 15 years ago and they still dont get along the best in the world, but are able to worship together...
What is funny is that splits happened in the Bible several times...
Acts 15
After the Jerusalem Council, Barnabas and Paul were planning on making their second journey. Barnabas wanted to take John Mark, but Paul opposed the idea because Mark had departed from them on the first Journey. Consequently, Barnabas took John Mark, and Paul took Silas and the two groups went their separate ways (Acts 15:36-41). After Barnabas gave his cousin a second chance, Paul was later able to call him a coworker (Philem 24; cf. Col 4:10) who was helpful to his ministry...so basically, Paul and Barnabas came to the point to agree to disagree...
Genesis13;8-9
So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.
Tom and I went thru splits at Faith two different times. Both times, it took the core of the church workers...Tom and I worried and prayed and prayed and worried... but you remember what happened? God had people to step up and take the place of those who had left and these people became strong members of the church body. Unfortunatly we don't know the full picture and God's plan...what I don't think is in God's plan is backbiting, strife, remarks that are a bit too forward, etc.
My next point that I want to make, is that I have never been part of the "leaving" split... I have never been in the group that left...so that makes me be in a much greater turmoil...I love my church and my church family...they have been so good to me...but then I hear of comments that were made and I try to analyze why comments with that kind of malice were made and I wonder where the christian attitude is...? This is not the people that loved me...
What if we ARE doing what God planned?? What if God knows what he is doing and has split the church up intentionally? I have prayed and prayed for confirmation that I have done the right thing and have gotten confirmation several times..but why are people still so bitter and angry about the split? Is it because of the hurt? Why do they feel the need to lash out at one another? Is that God telling them to do make hurtful or spiteful comments? I am praying even as I type that I don't say something that will offend anyone...I have mentioned to several people that talking bad about the church we left is NOT acceptable...
Most often when you get together a bunch of people, there will be conflict...I tried to explain to Lukas and Morgan why things happened...the only way I knew how to do it was that some of us were raised expecting more in the way of being fed and worship...If you have a shepherd who can feed his flock only tender meat, then the ones who need the tough meat will never get satisfied...the tough meat helps to clean the teeth, helps the digestive system...etc. I like to be plowed...I like a preacher to get right where I am at and open up things deep in my soul that I have closed off or sugarcoated....
I have heard preachers preach and do great jobs...but never left me thinking harder on anything...basically, I needed something deeper...why would others fault me for that?
The preacher last night at the church preached on "examine yourself"....I want to examine myself to make sure I don't have any hatred, malice or strife in my heart...in this day and time, we can't afford to loose people who are dear to us. Please try to understand that God is in control and he is doing what is good for each of us in the long run...making comments and backbiting will only cause hurt and anger....
Nothing in the Bible states that Paul talked bad about Barnabas and ridiculed him...I wont let anyone ridicule my church family just because our wants are different....
Again, I hope I havent hurt anyone or said anything to confuse anyone...your feedback is welcome...
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I don't need a man!!!!! LOL
LOL...I don't need anyone to tell me how to do things...yes, granted, it is easier to holler at brothers or dad to fix what is wrong, but I hate being dependant on someone...always have....so..my "back up" lights were out, my headlights only worked on bright, my radiator coolant needed refilling and my rear windshield wiper needed changing...so, guess what ol'Sherry did? She read the book and done this maintanance herself!!!!!! I am so proud of me! yes, it took longer than necessary and yes, I still don't have the tail lights fixed, but I have come to the conclusion that it is a fuse...so, I 'm gonna prance to Wally world, get a fuse and replace it...!!! I don't need a man!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Lukas has a blog now...
It is so cute...you must go check it out and leave him a comment on one of his posts....
the address is
http://lukasblogging.blogspot.com
I don't think he totally understands the concept yet of a blog, but that's okay...he kept wanting to have a myspace page and I wouldn't let him, so when Morgan got her blog, he asked if he could have one and I kept putting him off and putting him off, so I finally gave in...
He jumped up this morning after I fixed it for him last night and said, I have to see if I have any comments..I explained to him that we hadn't told anyone yet...so I will try to remind you to frequently go check it out...it will be fun to see if this matures or fizzles out...
the address is
http://lukasblogging.blogspot.com
I don't think he totally understands the concept yet of a blog, but that's okay...he kept wanting to have a myspace page and I wouldn't let him, so when Morgan got her blog, he asked if he could have one and I kept putting him off and putting him off, so I finally gave in...
He jumped up this morning after I fixed it for him last night and said, I have to see if I have any comments..I explained to him that we hadn't told anyone yet...so I will try to remind you to frequently go check it out...it will be fun to see if this matures or fizzles out...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I knew it...
LOL, I said to several people that things in my life are sooo stressed...friend trials, family trials, church trials, and that doesn't count the normal everyday stressors that happen...but yeah, it happened...now there are job trials..and it doesn't mean these are bad, just that there are decisions to be made...something else to stress me out! Do people spontaneously combust at some point if there is too much stress on them? If you see a blob on the wall or sidewalk, it is probably me...and I am sure if you looked hard enough, you could see the devil with his telescope just laughing...enjoying himself...making my life miserable...God's Grace is sufficient...!!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Jaida at Easter (09)
Jaida (my brother's daughter) loved the egg coloring...we do the teacups with tablets/vinegar...she had her 4 cups and by the time it was all over, she was spooning all the colors into other cups...she had switched the eggs out from one cup to another so many times that all her eggs turned out purple...and of course she thought they all were beautiful...and we did too!!!
Here is my mom and Jaida...
And Jaida's Mom, Helen...
Here is my mom and Jaida...
And Jaida's Mom, Helen...
Easter 09
Well, we had a good Easter...went and did the traditional lunch at Mom's on Saturday and then a mom/kid effort of coloring eggs and hiding them..except this year, we didnt hide/hunt eggs...my kids are just getting too big for that and Helen thought it was a little bit too chilly for Jaida....so, here is a few pix of me and Morgan
We often ask Why?? (Job ch 1-3)
I read the first 3 chapters of Job last night...I want to kinda explore Job deeper but I am notorious for starting things and never completing them...so anyway, I was reading last night and it has been on my mind strong ever since...
Job had no idea about the conversation that had went on between God and satan...he had no idea why...in chapter 3, he even regretted being born...and he had no idea why he was having all the hardships...that just kept coming in waves...
That is what I am feeling right now...waves and waves of confusion, difficulty, troubles, worries...in the past 7 months, my life has done basically a 180 degree turn...nothing is the same as it was...except my job..and I don't know how long that will be the same...you know those stressor scales? I'm off the charts...LOL
So, what if, there was a conversation that went on in Heaven that I am not aware of....?
God had so much faith that Job wouldn't turn his back on Him and that he would endure....!
WOW! What if....What if God knows I am strong enough to endure all these waves of trials and gave satan permission to try me...? Not that I am anywhere near perfect like Job was...I mean, God gave satan permission to do anything he wanted to him except take his life...and we all agree that satan knows our weaknesses as well as Jesus does...so he[satan] knows just what will get us to deny God...What if he [satan] is trying to see if we will deny God, or quit on God?
Then another thing stuck out to me...Job lost his family...10 kids all in one day...I cannot even begin to imagine how this affected him...and obviously they were a close family, according to scripture... If someone came to me and told me I had lost my possessions, I would have a hard time dealing...but to loose my children too?? I would definitly regret the day I was born and wish I were dead and maybe even follow thru with some ideations....esp since right now, I feel like my kids are all I have...so we don't really understand how Job felt...to loose everything all in one day...and look what he did...
Job 1:20-22
20Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, 21And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. 22In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
I have questioned God...I have said, How much longer do I have to go thru this? I have begged God over and over to take it from me...and Job did nothing but fell on the ground and worshipped...have I worshipped God over what is happening in my life right now? no, not really...I have thanked him for letting me see and come to the knowledge of so many things...but worshipped him? no...
I hope this makes you think as much as it has me...
Job had no idea about the conversation that had went on between God and satan...he had no idea why...in chapter 3, he even regretted being born...and he had no idea why he was having all the hardships...that just kept coming in waves...
That is what I am feeling right now...waves and waves of confusion, difficulty, troubles, worries...in the past 7 months, my life has done basically a 180 degree turn...nothing is the same as it was...except my job..and I don't know how long that will be the same...you know those stressor scales? I'm off the charts...LOL
So, what if, there was a conversation that went on in Heaven that I am not aware of....?
God had so much faith that Job wouldn't turn his back on Him and that he would endure....!
WOW! What if....What if God knows I am strong enough to endure all these waves of trials and gave satan permission to try me...? Not that I am anywhere near perfect like Job was...I mean, God gave satan permission to do anything he wanted to him except take his life...and we all agree that satan knows our weaknesses as well as Jesus does...so he[satan] knows just what will get us to deny God...What if he [satan] is trying to see if we will deny God, or quit on God?
Then another thing stuck out to me...Job lost his family...10 kids all in one day...I cannot even begin to imagine how this affected him...and obviously they were a close family, according to scripture... If someone came to me and told me I had lost my possessions, I would have a hard time dealing...but to loose my children too?? I would definitly regret the day I was born and wish I were dead and maybe even follow thru with some ideations....esp since right now, I feel like my kids are all I have...so we don't really understand how Job felt...to loose everything all in one day...and look what he did...
Job 1:20-22
20Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, 21And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. 22In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
I have questioned God...I have said, How much longer do I have to go thru this? I have begged God over and over to take it from me...and Job did nothing but fell on the ground and worshipped...have I worshipped God over what is happening in my life right now? no, not really...I have thanked him for letting me see and come to the knowledge of so many things...but worshipped him? no...
I hope this makes you think as much as it has me...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter thoughts from my friends...
I am on Facebook and all these thoughts are there regarding Easter...I want to compile them... Just because they each touched me...I wouldn't have thought of these all without their help...so here are a few...
- And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,He bled and died to take away my sin.Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
- I am free to run. I am free to dance. I am free to live for you. I am free!
- Thankful for God's grace. Happy Easter everyone. Up from the grave He arose!
- Thank you, Lord, for saving a wretched sinner like me. I praise your holy name, and give you all the glory for anything that's worthy in my life.
- Wishing everyone a Blessed Easter. 1 Peter 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...
- Thank you, Lord for an old rugged cross, an unfathomable sacrifice, the holiest miracle, and His redeeming power.
- I just want to wish everyone a blessed Easter and leave you with a verse from my favorite Easter song" He could of called 10 thousand angels but he died alone for you and me . I know you wanted here comes peter cottontail hoppin down the bunny trail . no worrys i sing that too.
- ~Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. ~ C.Hall.
- saved by His grace and thankful that Jesus paid for my sins.
- I know my Redeemer lives!! Jesus is still the reason for the season.
- Simply overwhelmed when I think of what Jesus did for me over 2000 years ago.
- When i survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died, my richest gain i count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Just hang on...Can I?
I have had so many doubts...about every couple of days, God shows up and gives me something to keep me hanging on...and me, being the very weak Christian that I am, just get so low and down and decide I have nothing to go on for...and I stop and cry out to the only One I know to cry to..
I have prayed God, give me something to hang on to...I need to know that he is still working and that I am not supposed to give up on my prayer...my hope...Someone just asked me yesterday how in the world I am so strong...I am not strong...I will just go ahead and say here that I love Tom with all my heart and just like the saying goes, you don't know what you got till it is gone...and yes, I have loved him since we were 13 or 14 years old...my close friends in high school remember me having a "crush" on him...as a matter of fact, I told one friend (Becky Cope) that I would marry him...that was my sophomore year I think...but back on topic...I am not strong....I am hanging on to hope by the grace of God...and God will show up and give me something to hope in and that will tide me over for a day or two...then I will go right back downhill....and I have to pray again...so just this week, I have prayed several times, God, I don't know whether to move on or hang on...I also prayed God, give me something at Wednesday night church service to help me...and the preacher preached on having Faith...telling the devil that we were hanging on to Faith...Wow...if that is not a sign from God...I felt so full after church...me and kids went to eat and I was just so full in my chest, I kept telling them how good God was to show up and help me...let me post parts of the scripture he read...2Corinthians 4;8-17
7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.8We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;9Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 17For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
He also made a statement and made me think of my readers here...How can I testify that God is real if I don't have affliction...and He pulls me thru...I want you to know that if God can help me thru this, He can help you thru ANYTHING you are going thru...Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought I could live 7 months without Tom...but I have thru the Grace of God....and only thru Him...
I have prayed God, give me something to hang on to...I need to know that he is still working and that I am not supposed to give up on my prayer...my hope...Someone just asked me yesterday how in the world I am so strong...I am not strong...I will just go ahead and say here that I love Tom with all my heart and just like the saying goes, you don't know what you got till it is gone...and yes, I have loved him since we were 13 or 14 years old...my close friends in high school remember me having a "crush" on him...as a matter of fact, I told one friend (Becky Cope) that I would marry him...that was my sophomore year I think...but back on topic...I am not strong....I am hanging on to hope by the grace of God...and God will show up and give me something to hope in and that will tide me over for a day or two...then I will go right back downhill....and I have to pray again...so just this week, I have prayed several times, God, I don't know whether to move on or hang on...I also prayed God, give me something at Wednesday night church service to help me...and the preacher preached on having Faith...telling the devil that we were hanging on to Faith...Wow...if that is not a sign from God...I felt so full after church...me and kids went to eat and I was just so full in my chest, I kept telling them how good God was to show up and help me...let me post parts of the scripture he read...2Corinthians 4;8-17
7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.8We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;9Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 17For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
He also made a statement and made me think of my readers here...How can I testify that God is real if I don't have affliction...and He pulls me thru...I want you to know that if God can help me thru this, He can help you thru ANYTHING you are going thru...Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought I could live 7 months without Tom...but I have thru the Grace of God....and only thru Him...
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Random photos...
Today is April 1st...some people take photos everyday and post them on their blogs... I will in no way have time to do this, but today for the "City Daily Photo" the April theme is yellow...so as I wanted to be a part of this, I took 2 yellow pictures on my way to pick up lunch...nothing special, just random...
Big Yellow Schoolbus
A yellow cat that took off as soon as I stopped to take the picture...
A shelf in the library with yellow Curious George books..
Big Yellow Schoolbus
A yellow cat that took off as soon as I stopped to take the picture...
A shelf in the library with yellow Curious George books..
Another Nursing Home Story...
I have got to tell you this...this was a moment that will forever be etched in my memory...
So there is a lady that I have known all my life in the nursing home...she led singing at alot of different churches that I went to, including my church at times of special services... she loved to sing...she loved the hymns...
I hear this woman upset and crying, so as I enter the room, the nurse is having to insert a catheter and the patient is incredibly upset...so I go and stroke her face and began singing to her...Amazing Grace, When The Roll is Called Up Yonder...and other hymns that I can think of...she does calm down considerably and the nurse is able to perform the rest of the procedure...
After the nurse was finished, I just sat at her bedside and stroked her head...and sang to her...she can't talk much due to her debilitating condition...but she can say a few words..as I sat and sang to her, she kept saying in long drawn out sentences..."I'm leaving here" "I'm a goner" "I'm not gonna make it..." well, this didn't surprise me, but what did surprise me was when she had her eyes closed and was reaching up into the air...I asked her what she was reaching for...she stated "I see pretty things"...well, at this point, I am like, okay, she might really be dying...I mean, she is seeing heaven right now....I looked at the girl standing with me with a surprised look...now, my nursing knowledge is telling me, "there are no active signs of dying here" I mean, really...but you know, stranger things have happened...so I get down to business...thinking what if i am standing here and she dies right now...!!! What if I sing her to eternity...so I rack my brain to sing a song that is appropriate...ah...I got it..."Take My Hand Precious Lord" so I begin to sing...she closes her eyes...the nurse has already came in and gave her a Morphine shot...my mind is racing...is she dying right now?? I sing 2 verses and stop and she mumbles another word of the song, so I start back..she is trying to lay comfortable...I am holding her hand and singing...
I stop that song and start singing "Sweet Bye and Bye" ...
All of a sudden, she looked up at me and said in her slow drawn out speech......
"I wish you would hush"
Needless to say, she didn't pass over...her Morphine was taking over...and I ran out of the room dying laughing!!!!!
So there is a lady that I have known all my life in the nursing home...she led singing at alot of different churches that I went to, including my church at times of special services... she loved to sing...she loved the hymns...
I hear this woman upset and crying, so as I enter the room, the nurse is having to insert a catheter and the patient is incredibly upset...so I go and stroke her face and began singing to her...Amazing Grace, When The Roll is Called Up Yonder...and other hymns that I can think of...she does calm down considerably and the nurse is able to perform the rest of the procedure...
After the nurse was finished, I just sat at her bedside and stroked her head...and sang to her...she can't talk much due to her debilitating condition...but she can say a few words..as I sat and sang to her, she kept saying in long drawn out sentences..."I'm leaving here" "I'm a goner" "I'm not gonna make it..." well, this didn't surprise me, but what did surprise me was when she had her eyes closed and was reaching up into the air...I asked her what she was reaching for...she stated "I see pretty things"...well, at this point, I am like, okay, she might really be dying...I mean, she is seeing heaven right now....I looked at the girl standing with me with a surprised look...now, my nursing knowledge is telling me, "there are no active signs of dying here" I mean, really...but you know, stranger things have happened...so I get down to business...thinking what if i am standing here and she dies right now...!!! What if I sing her to eternity...so I rack my brain to sing a song that is appropriate...ah...I got it..."Take My Hand Precious Lord" so I begin to sing...she closes her eyes...the nurse has already came in and gave her a Morphine shot...my mind is racing...is she dying right now?? I sing 2 verses and stop and she mumbles another word of the song, so I start back..she is trying to lay comfortable...I am holding her hand and singing...
I stop that song and start singing "Sweet Bye and Bye" ...
All of a sudden, she looked up at me and said in her slow drawn out speech......
"I wish you would hush"
Needless to say, she didn't pass over...her Morphine was taking over...and I ran out of the room dying laughing!!!!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Back to school...
Well, I have had spring break...not much of a break to me...I worked that entire time...but since I don't get paid at the school, I had to do something...LOL I worked graveyard alot and lost alot of sleep...I am so tired today...I think it will take me months to get caught up!!!! At one point in the week, I had had 11 hours sleep in the last 75 hours...the 11 hours were not together either...4 here and 5 there and 2 later..UGH!!!! I love my sleep too much to be missing so much...
I am not sure where my work future is leading...I think there is a job that has a $4 increase in pay that will be coming open soon....want God's will...the thought keeps coming to me that sometimes, it don't take a rocket scientist to figure out what to do when God sends something your way...Iam just praying...nothing definite yet...
I am not sure where my work future is leading...I think there is a job that has a $4 increase in pay that will be coming open soon....want God's will...the thought keeps coming to me that sometimes, it don't take a rocket scientist to figure out what to do when God sends something your way...Iam just praying...nothing definite yet...
Saturday, March 21, 2009
On My Crazy Side...honest..I am craz~~EEEEY!!!...(Diet Dr. Pepper High)
Okay, so I on Fri morn, I get up at about 6 30am and proceed to get ready for school...go to work for a relatively boring day....(important fact....>) I forgot and drank a 12 oz can of Diet Dr. Pepper for lunch...knowing that I can't sleep well with caffeine, since I usually only drink it on weekends...(stay with me here, this is relevant...) so I go home at 3pm as usual...but since I have to work graveyard (12 hour shift) tonight, I have time to grab a small 2 hour nap...oh, but I forgot...I'm not sleepy at all cause I drank Dr. Pepper!!!!! But..I lay down anyway and basically sleep..but a very non REM sleep...So, at 6:00 I get up and proceed to go to work..I do have a can of Diet Dr. Pepper in my bag, because I usually use it to keep awake...
la la la la ala....I'm working...I'm working....it's 11:00pm..I'm hungry...my plan is to get something to eat and drink my Dr. Pepper...well, I go out to Sonic...and think..well, I might want cherry flavor in my Diet Dr. Pepper...so I order a Rt 44 size Diet Dr. Pepper with cherry flavor....ok...not really thinking that 44 means 44 ounces ....I know 44 means the largest size...but heck, it is my bedtime... I am allowed to not b thinking right now....LOL (trust me, it gets worse..)
So I love Dr. Pepper...my fav drink...I told someone, it is my "beer" Thar aint nuttin like a cold swig of Dr. Pepper...
Yes, I drink it and proceed thru the night...come 7am, I am still working...could actually leave for home now, but also can stay and finish this or that...so that is what I do...finish this...finish that....not a bit sleepy...although I have been up for 24 hours basically at this point...25 to be exact...8am...still at work...9:00am...still at work...not sleepy...actually feeling pretty good...9:30...someone says "are you still here??? didn't you work last night???" 'yeah, but I need to finish this....' not sleepy...10:00 am...I am not sure really what time I clocked out to go home....sometime after 10 I think...(it still gets better...I told you I was totally crazy!!!)
I walk to my car...WOW, what a BEAUTIFUL day!!!! The sun is shining...the birds are chirping...it must be 50 degrees already...( I look at my car therm...it is 42...) Ok, so my thoughts are ramblin...I'm gonna stay up for awhile...no, I really need to sleep....I drive thru town, contemplating going to Walmart...or going to visit my niece...or stopping and eating breakfast...not a bit sleepy....oh, I could get my oil changed, since it is about 5000 miles overdue...so I whip it into the Lube Xpress...get an oil change...who knows what time it is...heck, who cares??? I am going home to clean my house...kids are away in Johnson City..it is a beautiful day...going home...okay...we get a bit tricky here...I have been awake for about 28 hours now... on the way home, I start thinking of me and my troubles...and I start crying...just bawling...(don't feel sorry for me...this is funny!!!!) I mean just sobbing...and in the midst of my sobs, I keep yawning...sob...sob....yawn...sob...sob...yawn...now if you have never done this...beware, cause it kinda stimulates your gag reflex and really...you think you are gonna puke...I mean, this is weird..I don't know whether to cry, yawn or puke...AND....I'm driving 60 mph down the road...I am totally crazy...I told you....
So, I compose my sobbing, yawning, almost puking self and think what a comical scene I am..and then on top of all that, I start laughing...God forbid that a cop is following me...I mean, what would someone think??? Well, just exactly what you all are thinking right now....
Oh and BTW, I really honestly believe that when I cranked my car after the oil change that it ran smoother...reckon??
Oh, and another thing...I am home...it is 12 noon and I might go to bed here in a bit...
Someone remind me never to drink 44 oz of caffeine when I am planning on sleeping in the next 48 hours....!!!!!!!!!
la la la la ala....I'm working...I'm working....it's 11:00pm..I'm hungry...my plan is to get something to eat and drink my Dr. Pepper...well, I go out to Sonic...and think..well, I might want cherry flavor in my Diet Dr. Pepper...so I order a Rt 44 size Diet Dr. Pepper with cherry flavor....ok...not really thinking that 44 means 44 ounces ....I know 44 means the largest size...but heck, it is my bedtime... I am allowed to not b thinking right now....LOL (trust me, it gets worse..)
So I love Dr. Pepper...my fav drink...I told someone, it is my "beer" Thar aint nuttin like a cold swig of Dr. Pepper...
Yes, I drink it and proceed thru the night...come 7am, I am still working...could actually leave for home now, but also can stay and finish this or that...so that is what I do...finish this...finish that....not a bit sleepy...although I have been up for 24 hours basically at this point...25 to be exact...8am...still at work...9:00am...still at work...not sleepy...actually feeling pretty good...9:30...someone says "are you still here??? didn't you work last night???" 'yeah, but I need to finish this....' not sleepy...10:00 am...I am not sure really what time I clocked out to go home....sometime after 10 I think...(it still gets better...I told you I was totally crazy!!!)
I walk to my car...WOW, what a BEAUTIFUL day!!!! The sun is shining...the birds are chirping...it must be 50 degrees already...( I look at my car therm...it is 42...) Ok, so my thoughts are ramblin...I'm gonna stay up for awhile...no, I really need to sleep....I drive thru town, contemplating going to Walmart...or going to visit my niece...or stopping and eating breakfast...not a bit sleepy....oh, I could get my oil changed, since it is about 5000 miles overdue...so I whip it into the Lube Xpress...get an oil change...who knows what time it is...heck, who cares??? I am going home to clean my house...kids are away in Johnson City..it is a beautiful day...going home...okay...we get a bit tricky here...I have been awake for about 28 hours now... on the way home, I start thinking of me and my troubles...and I start crying...just bawling...(don't feel sorry for me...this is funny!!!!) I mean just sobbing...and in the midst of my sobs, I keep yawning...sob...sob....yawn...sob...sob...yawn...now if you have never done this...beware, cause it kinda stimulates your gag reflex and really...you think you are gonna puke...I mean, this is weird..I don't know whether to cry, yawn or puke...AND....I'm driving 60 mph down the road...I am totally crazy...I told you....
So, I compose my sobbing, yawning, almost puking self and think what a comical scene I am..and then on top of all that, I start laughing...God forbid that a cop is following me...I mean, what would someone think??? Well, just exactly what you all are thinking right now....
Oh and BTW, I really honestly believe that when I cranked my car after the oil change that it ran smoother...reckon??
Oh, and another thing...I am home...it is 12 noon and I might go to bed here in a bit...
Someone remind me never to drink 44 oz of caffeine when I am planning on sleeping in the next 48 hours....!!!!!!!!!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Alot of Blogs...LOL
Geez...I have blogged more this month than any month this year!!!! Lots of action going on in my brain...could have to do with not having any adults to "communicate" with...yes, I get small talk, but poor Tom had to hear my ramblings constantly...and God bless the poor kids of mine...they don't care about my ramblings...:)
Last night I was at work and a poor resident was sitting beside me and we were talking and she asked me if I was married and I told her not anymore and she wanted to know why, etc...this lady has Alzheimers, and she probably forgot the conversation as soon as it happened, but she said something that stuck to me...and it hurt...
She mentioned that she was married to and then she added sarcastically...yeah, I'm the mother of his children...so I wanted to keep her talking as I could sense something way deeper in her comment... she went on to say how he had left her unexpectedly...she said..."That is a hurt that goes so deep...a hurt you will never get over" she got teary eyed...she pointed from her throat to her stomach and said..."you wonder why it hurt you so deep...but it is something you never ever get over..."
It made so much sense to me...she felt exactly what I was feeling...and to think that this was a lady who couldn't even remember the conversation 5 minutes later, but she still remembered the hurt from many years back...She never married again and still carries his name today...yes, she went on to become successful, and I'm sure lived a successful life...but to say she moved on...no..she didn't...
Last night I was at work and a poor resident was sitting beside me and we were talking and she asked me if I was married and I told her not anymore and she wanted to know why, etc...this lady has Alzheimers, and she probably forgot the conversation as soon as it happened, but she said something that stuck to me...and it hurt...
She mentioned that she was married to
It made so much sense to me...she felt exactly what I was feeling...and to think that this was a lady who couldn't even remember the conversation 5 minutes later, but she still remembered the hurt from many years back...She never married again and still carries his name today...yes, she went on to become successful, and I'm sure lived a successful life...but to say she moved on...no..she didn't...
Compassion...(20th)
Today, I want to pray for my children to have compassion... Compassion for the lost, compassion for the sad, compassion for the lonely, the sick, the poor, the rich...
Compassion is described as being deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
Colossians 3;12 says Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering...
The words "put on" reminds me of "to clothe" ...So I like to think that as God's elect, we need to put on mercy, kindness, meekness...humbleness of mind is important here too...so many people let satan build them up in their own mind and it causes all kinds of trouble...
Lord, I pray that my children will be able to put on compassion...to be deeply aware of others suffering and wish to relieve it..
I sometimes think my personality make people think I am hard-hearted...I don't like to let my feelings show and I know it comes across as being non-caring...I blame that on the Richards part of my heritage..they were solomn people...LOL
Compassion is described as being deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
Colossians 3;12 says Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering...
The words "put on" reminds me of "to clothe" ...So I like to think that as God's elect, we need to put on mercy, kindness, meekness...humbleness of mind is important here too...so many people let satan build them up in their own mind and it causes all kinds of trouble...
Lord, I pray that my children will be able to put on compassion...to be deeply aware of others suffering and wish to relieve it..
I sometimes think my personality make people think I am hard-hearted...I don't like to let my feelings show and I know it comes across as being non-caring...I blame that on the Richards part of my heritage..they were solomn people...LOL
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Humility...(19th)
So today is the 19th...my calendar says to pray for my children's Humility...
Humility definition is accepting our selves as we really are or in other words not prideful...
Titus 3:2 says To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men...
I want my children to be proud of being a child of God, but not proud in a boastful way...I can remember being young and in a class with a little girl who really had major hygiene issues. This wasn't her fault and the other kids shunned her...I tried to include her, but she was still an outcast...nothing that I done, but I just can't stand to see someone left out...I have tried to tell my children to treat others better than they would want to be treated...This is hard for even us, as adults...I try to remind them to help others who are having a hard time...Lukas kept being bullied by a little guy who sat beside him...I just kept saying, Lukas, this little boy acts this way for some reason...please try to understand that this is his way of letting it out...then later I found out that he doesn't live with his Mom or Dad...he lives with his aunt...so obviously there is a problem at home...Finally, Lukas did complain and the teacher saw this as a problem and she moved Lukas...Poor little Morgan acts too much like me...I am saying an extra prayer for her!!! LOL
God, help my children to have the love of God in their hearts so strong that they will show meekness to everyone of their friends and people they meet. Help them not to act like me...
Humility definition is accepting our selves as we really are or in other words not prideful...
Titus 3:2 says To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men...
I want my children to be proud of being a child of God, but not proud in a boastful way...I can remember being young and in a class with a little girl who really had major hygiene issues. This wasn't her fault and the other kids shunned her...I tried to include her, but she was still an outcast...nothing that I done, but I just can't stand to see someone left out...I have tried to tell my children to treat others better than they would want to be treated...This is hard for even us, as adults...I try to remind them to help others who are having a hard time...Lukas kept being bullied by a little guy who sat beside him...I just kept saying, Lukas, this little boy acts this way for some reason...please try to understand that this is his way of letting it out...then later I found out that he doesn't live with his Mom or Dad...he lives with his aunt...so obviously there is a problem at home...Finally, Lukas did complain and the teacher saw this as a problem and she moved Lukas...Poor little Morgan acts too much like me...I am saying an extra prayer for her!!! LOL
God, help my children to have the love of God in their hearts so strong that they will show meekness to everyone of their friends and people they meet. Help them not to act like me...
Today's status..
Well, I'm PMS'ing so therefore, you all know my feelings...i'm lonely, I'm missing my old life...I note that it has been 6 months and 1 week and 1 day since Tom left...but you know what is funny?? As I keep up with the amount of time that has passed, I am still trusting in God to either fix me or fix my life and so many times we put a time limit on God...but last night, the preacher spoke of how God has no time limit...it says that a thousand years is as a day with the Lord...meaning no time...God doesn't look at he time...all he looks at is his plan unfolding...What is his plan?? Is it for us to be back together? Is it for us to go our separate ways? Some days I have hope, others, i really don't have any hope at all....but it is so hard....I will have more patience that Job when all this is over!!! LOL so pray for me this week...this is the week when I feel like I just can't go on another step mentally...
Superintendant
Ok..so he is supposed to come see me today about a student....The Mom has complained to him about me and told him ridiculous things...for you nurses, she told him that her daughter's A1C was 19...I mean, come on...she would be dead...and her sugar would at least have to be staying at at least 600- 700...it is almost funny on her part, cause she is an RN and she should know better...
Said I dressed up all the time like a clown and her daughter couldn't get to me...now, I know I am funny, and heck, maybe I even dress funny, but...trust me, you all were the first one's to know when I dressed up as Clifford...so wouldn't you all have hurt feelings if I was dressing like a clown and didn't show you all pictures??? LOL whatever!!!
Said I dressed up all the time like a clown and her daughter couldn't get to me...now, I know I am funny, and heck, maybe I even dress funny, but...trust me, you all were the first one's to know when I dressed up as Clifford...so wouldn't you all have hurt feelings if I was dressing like a clown and didn't show you all pictures??? LOL whatever!!!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Hope...the 17th
I found a prayer calendar to use when you pray for your children...I want to utilize it on the days when I can think of it...:) Today is the 17th...
So for today, Let's look at Romans 15:13
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
May the God of Hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit...
I know that Morgan and Lukas both hope that things in our family life will get better..as a matter of fact, Lukas told me the other day that if he had to wait 6 months till Daddy came home, he would be glad to wait...this broke my heart, but we serve a God of hope...This verse says the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace...This is awesome scripture....I want my children to trust in the God of hope...Hope that will fill them with joy and peace...Hope that will help them make it thru each day, even though things may not be perfect...
Abound in hope...this means to be perfectly supplied or filled...so I want them to be perfectly supplied and filled with the Hope of God...
Thanks God for giving them hope...and me too, God...
So for today, Let's look at Romans 15:13
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
May the God of Hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit...
I know that Morgan and Lukas both hope that things in our family life will get better..as a matter of fact, Lukas told me the other day that if he had to wait 6 months till Daddy came home, he would be glad to wait...this broke my heart, but we serve a God of hope...This verse says the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace...This is awesome scripture....I want my children to trust in the God of hope...Hope that will fill them with joy and peace...Hope that will help them make it thru each day, even though things may not be perfect...
Abound in hope...this means to be perfectly supplied or filled...so I want them to be perfectly supplied and filled with the Hope of God...
Thanks God for giving them hope...and me too, God...
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